Dinner went well but...

It's been an interesting few days. Some good, some bad. Mainly good times though. Thanksgiving went really well. The turkey was moist and delicious. My friends and I killed at least 6 bottles of wine and nearly an entire jug of sweet red wine. I'd have to do an inventory downstairs to be sure. I was very tipsy at one point. I'd lost track of how much I had to drink, and I hadn't been snacking like everyone else because I had been prepping things.

Let's just say I was kicked out of my own kitchen...

So Wednesday night Chris decided he was coming down as well. I'll admit, I was a little nervous/worried about him and Steve being in the same room together for an extended amount of time. I knew they'd be polite but I expected it to be awkward. Thankfully everything went smoothly!

As for what didn't go well, I'm not happy with Chris right now. For things that happened before and after the party. He better not talk to me for a few days because I will go off on him. He was disrespectful to me and the rules of my house. When I'm not livid, he and I will be having a conversation about it. I'd be furious if a friend did the crap he did, let alone my boyfriend.

Lisa and I talked about it yesterday while I was at her house. Even she said that as upset as she gets at Steve sometimes with the relationship issues, she always gets over it because he's a great guy who never intends to hurt me. Disrespecting me is a whole separate issue. She's never met Chris and never wants to at this point. Can't say I blame her.

I've just been able to distance myself from a crappy ex. I sure as hell am not going to be treated like crap ever again. So he's walking on thin ice and I have no problem breaking up with him if he doesn't get his head out of his ass. Too many more respectful people around who want my interest to waste my time with that shit.

We'll see how all that goes, but I'm done putting up with other people's crap and nonsense. This is also why I'm not casually dating. I never have been honestly. I tend to randomly meet people and fall into relationships. It's when I try to date that I meet the crazy ones who won't leave me alone.

But Thanksgiving went well enough that I said I'd have something around Easter next year. Too much going on in December to have Christmas here. It was well worth the stress and headaches.

Thanksgiving Plans

I can honestly say that I can't wait for February to get here. I thought things would calm down after the new year, but major events are making it seem like I won't get a good break until February. That's mildly depressing, not gonna lie.

As for what I'm doing now, prepping and cleaning for this Saturday. I'm having friends over for a Thanksgiving dinner. I had to make a list of things to do so I wouldn't forget anything. These people are my family, which is the only reason I'm hosting a dinner party for 14 people. I invited 19, because yes I am that crazy. For those curious, Steve is coming on Saturday.

I'm spending actual Thanksgiving day with Lisa and her family. That'll be more chill at least.  Next Tuesday, I'm having a friend over for dinner and red wine. I haven't seen him in ages so it'll be good to catch up. And then the Saturday after Thanksgiving I'll be spending the day with friends doing some shopping. Apparently we're dressing up in skirts and boots for the day out.

Then it's December, with all of the crazy holiday events that will come with it. Though I will have something kinky to talk about at least. On the 14th, I'll be spending the day with Rebecca and Kevin. It'll just be play, not sex. It'll be nice though. I need something kinky going on or I'm going to go stir-crazy. And I need more than some one off time too. But I doubt that'll be happening any time soon.

Surrender

He ran his thumb over my bottom lip
My breath hitched
All thought ceased
My body limp in surrender

There, lurking behind hazel eyes,
Was a force aching for flesh and torment
And I prey, caught in the piercing gaze

Vulnerable and exposed, my offering
Hunger and passion, his desires

Softly I mewed,
Content in his exploring touch
The sweet innocence fueling his sadistic urge

"What is your darkest secret?"
He whispered, leaning in close
My nerve lost,
A thought silenced on a stilled tongue

The unspoken words of
"What do you want to know?" lay unbarred
That I would throw open all the gates is my secret,
To be truly seen and understood

That the same stillness of a graze upon my lip
Would be known in the softest corners of my mind

But he shakes his head, smiling softly,
"That is no secret, not to me. Search deeper."

In the stillness, I saw as he saw
There were no secrets,
No dark places he could not reach
Light shone on all for him to see,
Every door unlocked

"Your darkest secret is that you try your damnedest
To believe you can still keep something, anything from me.
You wish to have some power, some bit of knowledge to tempt me.
You fear the peace of surrender you so long for..."

I woke as if from a dream
Alone in bed, the echo of his touch upon my skin
Peace in surrender to that which I can not change
I hold no power here

The blurring of reality and fantasy...