Friday the 13th and a Kissing Ball

I love Friday the 13th. It's always an interesting day. Though the argument can be made that I notice the unusual more because I'm waiting for, compared to just any other day...but we're going to ignore that in lieu of saying how awesome Friday the 13th truly is!!

It's been a rough week already so today better be awesome. I need a good day. Y'all are somewhat aware of the crazy shit that goes on in my head. That's kind of the norm for me, so much that I barely blink at it anymore. This past week? Pretty sure I was going insane. Everyone swears I wasn't, but would they really tell me if I was? Regardless I seem to have leveled out. Thank god!

So, I've been incredibly domestic this week. All the cleaning, ugh! I'm hosting a party on Sunday for the holidays. Should be fun! And Sir will be there. Yay!!! We're not going to mention that I haven't seen Him in two months...

The downstairs of my house looks like Christmas and glitter exploded everywhere. I've been busy decorating too and I'm not quite done yet, lol. I was telling Sir about the kissing ball I bought because I checked every single store in my area and no one had any. I was looking for the plastic or fabric kind that I could use every year. Nope, not a damn one to be found. Most stores never got a shipment for it in the first place. Is mistletoe going out of style??? As a kinky person, that makes me terribly sad.

Anyway, I was telling Sir about the kissing ball. Of course He had no clue what I was talking about. When I tried to explain it at first, I did a terrible job. Then I thought He might be mad at me (I know, I never claim to be rational. I don't know why people keep expecting it out of me.). Finally I explained it better and sent a picture to go along with it.

That's what mine actually looks like. Bought it at Pier One because they were the only ones who even had a kissing ball. Either way, it'll induce lots of kissing and I'm more than okay with that. :-D

Tomorrow I'm going to a friend's to bake gluten-free cookies. So between all the cleaning left to do, laundry, cooking baking, and then the party Sunday, I'm going to need a few days of quiet and nothingness to recover! Hee hee! :-P

Interesting Moments Between Friends

Yesterday was a good day, both in my head and being around the people who make me happiest. A couple times a month, I get a group of people together. Last night was on the smaller side, only 7 or 8 of us. It'll pick up once the summer is over. It's always good to catch up with people. Sir, Rebecca, and Kevin were all in attendance. It was what I needed.

Though I will say they all pick on me something terrible!! It's so easy to get under my skin. Good thing I love them regardless. The resident "Pope" had me laughing so hard that I nearly fell to the ground several times. There's an inside joke related to that name, obviously. Though at one point my little was out, Pope and I were horsing around poking each other and me pushing him. Sir deepened His voice acting like our father, telling His "kids" to stop fighting or He'd turn the parking lot around. Pope got right into it, saying things like "But Dad! She started it!" I was too busy trying not to fall on the ground laughing to contribute!!

We were outside the restaurant bullshitting at this point. It's something that tends to happen, lol. A car passed by at a bit of a distance screaming something at us. Pope starts yelling back with the funniest shit. "I have a small dick!!" and "I'll suck your cock!!" at the top of his lungs in an angry voice.  I about lost it, to the point where my stomach muscles still hurt this morning. It should be noted that Pope was yelling these things to a woman. That makes it ten times better! She started it but Pope finished it and won that battle ten times over.

These are the people I call my friends. Should tell you a lot about me. :-D

So I've been seeing Sir quite a bit lately and I'm loving it!! I also saw Him on Sunday. We went to the movies with a friend of His, and the friend's Dad. Now, before I go into this, I have to tell you about how I met this particular friend of Sir's.

It was at the local renn faire last summer. I was there with kinky friends, people who for the most part are fairly open about that fact. One of the booths was all floggers and other fun toys. I know, at a renn faire!! Well I didn't see Sir approaching but it's early on in the day, no kids were around. I'm getting flogged through my costume/outfit to "test out the product"...for science. Hee hee!! So Sir approaches with His friend as this is going on. And His friend very much saw what was happening. I give the friend a lot of credit because he was very nice and has never brought it up since. From what I understand, Sir had to have an interesting conversation about kink. Not sure if He admitted to what He likes or simply said He has strange friends.

Now, every time I see this friend of Sir's, this is all I can think of. Apparently the feeling is mutual because Sir said there was a tone of voice when Sir told him that I'd be going along with them on Sunday. Not a bad tone, but a very clear, "I remember her" tone. I should not be as proud of that as I am. :-D

And this is why I'm not allowed to meet some of Chris's friends...

Anyway, I played the vanilla role quite well. I was completely appropriate. Okay, my top might have been a touch revealing with lots of cleavage but I didn't know the friend's Dad was going to be there. I am far more respectful in dress around people's parents. I'm sure some residual effect from my childhood and my mother enforcing appropriate behavior. Whereas people my own age and younger (to a point) get me as I am, typically with lots of cleavage.

The guys talked video games, trying to convince me to play some PC game that I can't remember the name of. Yes, Sir is geeky/nerdy. I'm okay with that, as long as He knows that I personally won't be playing video games. The friend's Dad and I ended up talking about books. "So what have you been reading lately that you could recommend?", he asked. Well shit, I've been reading kinky romance novels via Kindle mainly. So I give a vague answer of mainly free books on Kindle and I threw out one of my favorite fantasy series.

If it's not obvious, I don't have to be around vanilla people very often. Typically it's for something specific so I can keep the topic focused. Socially, I tend to stay with kinky people. I do keep up with politics and world affairs but that's not exactly social conversation. My current task is to find vanilla things I can talk about with people without outing myself in any way. We live in a fairly conservative area. I doubt being a LGBTQ activist would go over well in conversation either.

I'm going to have to go back to reading classic literature that's all there is to it!! LOL But not early American. Can't stand that. Give me translated Greek works any day!

Other than some awkward vanilla moments, Sunday was just as fun. Hopefully Sir's friend thinks a little better of me. He was definitely out of his shell more so here's hoping! I can be a perfectly respectable vanilla woman when I need to be. Though I do try not to need to be fairly often. :-P

The night with Sir

The night with Sir...

We had a lot of fun!! The weather did not cooperate for plans so we just had to stay inside. I know, it was such a shame!

Of course we had a fair amount of sex and other fun. There was a mirror hanging on the wall across from the bed. It seemed like such an odd place to put one, ya know? Until Sir had me on hands and knees on the bed facing it as He took me from behind. Then I completely understood!! :-D

We had a lovely time at dinner. The restaurant we went to was not what either of us expected. It had a higher end feel with a relaxed dinner service. By that I mean the restaurant wasn't trying to get us in and out as quickly as possible. Instead there was appropriate time was given between courses, friendly staff without being overbearing. The food was fantastic!

It gave Sir and I a chance to catch up. It was nice chatting about what's going on in our lives, as well as discussions over current political happenings. We do have some differences but we don't argue about them. I love that we're able to share opposing view points with an open mind.

Now it wasn't all roses. Unfortunately, I had a severe panic attack. Sir was fantastic about it. I couldn't have asked for better support. I'm used to people not knowing what to do or just walking away. Even though Sir was put in a difficult position, He handled it really well. I am so thankful that He's never rejected me.

He told me He'd not let anyone hurt me. That He would do His best not to cause me pain. After things had calmed down a bit, He asked, "Who's my special girl?"  That would be me. *blushes and smiles*  He's really amazing.

Other than that one small hiccup, it was a really great time. I always love spending time with Him. We were all snuggled up in bed. We started watching Burn Notice as we cuddled, so of course I now have another show to watch. Silly man, getting me into addictive TV shows.

I should be seeing Him on the 9th. I'd like to see Him before that but with the holiday coming up, there may not be time. It's unfortunate that we both often have busy schedules. Either way, we'll figure something out soon because I can never get enough of Him. :)

Intermission, Partie Deux

Because Sarah encouraged this...

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, what was the first thing you thought? Wondered if I'd like the new glasses. I do, but my eyes are not used to these.

2. How much cash do you have on you?  About $70-80, I'm normally lucky to have a couple bucks

3. Name a word that rhymes with door?  more

 

4. Name your favorite planet?  Venus

 

5. Do you own more than 100 Cd’s?  I haven't counted in some time, but I would think so.

 

6. Have you ever finished a bag of popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom?  No, and I usually don't eat popcorn.

 

7. What kind of top are you wearing?  A white tee with some graphics and sparkly designs.

 

8. Have you ever labeled yourself?  Yes. Too many labels.

 

9. Name the brand of shoes you are currently wearing? I'm not, wearing socks.

 

10.Bright or dark room? Naturally lit room. But not too terribly bright either.

 

11.Have you ever been pooped on from the sky?  You'd think, considering how much time I've spent in NYC. Isn't that what always happens there?? But nope.

 

12.What does your watch look like?  Don't wear one.

 

13.What were you doing at midnight last night?  Saying g'night to Sir and getting ready for bed.

 

14.Have you ever dated someone a decade older than you?  Yes. I typically prefer those older than me. But neither Sir or the boyfriend are much older than me.

 

15.Have you ever listened to a song and cried? All the damn time.

 

16.Who last told you he/she loved you? My best friend.

 

17.What was the last furry thing you touched?  My cats.

 

18.How many drugs have you taken within the last three days? If Alka-seltzer cold is a drug, whatever the recommended dosing is. Still can't shake this damn bug.

 

19.Favorite age so far? Now?

  

20.Have you ever had a secret crush on a teacher?  Hahah, Yes! This should have been the first sign that I was attracted to older men from the very beginning.

 

21.What was the last thing you said to someone? "Moo"  It's a thing I do.

 

22.Have you ever been found sleep walking?  Yes, though not since I was a young kid.

 

23.What was the last song you sang? Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson

 

24.What’s your favorite number? 4

 

25.Where did you live in 1987?  That's a good question...

 

26.What do you do when the vending machines eats your money?  Smack it a few times. If that doesn't work, I find a manager.

 

27.Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?  Closed, definitely closed. Open seems awkward and kissing is awkward enough.

28.What was the last song you heard?  Set Fire To The Rain by Adele

 

29.If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?  Italian

 

30.Have you ever seen a ghost? I see them nightly. Come hang out in my kitchen after dark, lol. Or the ever growing collection of spirit animals, up to 2 cats and a huge dog. Though the most unexpected was on my front lawn back at my mother's home one summer when I was home from college. I was outside enjoying the quiet evening when one walked right past me. A woman, probably in her late 20's, early 30's in farm style clothing, which would make sense given it had been all farm land until the 1950s.

 

31.When was the last time you ever wrote a letter to someone and mailed it?  To the penpal I had in Africa through my Church, back when I was 11 or 12.

 

32.Can you change the oil in a car? Heh, no. I was gladly pay someone else to do that.

 

33.How far back do you know about your ancestry?  Considering various lines of my family came over illegally, not terribly far. One side can trace back to a village in eastern europe.

 

34.When showering do you start the water and then get it, or get in and then start the water?  The water has to be the right temperature before I can get in.

 

35.Have you ever crashed a car? No, but have had someone hit mine.

 

36.Does every family have a crazy relative? I would think so. All the branches of mine have bits of crazy. Unfortunately that doesn't bode well for me.

 

37.Have you ever sent or made a prank call? Not at all.

 

38.How old do you look? My age, though for many years I looked at least a decade older than I was.

39.Should guys wear pink?  If it suits his skin tone, then yes.

 

40.Have you ever done anything for which you could be arrested?  Haha, yep. Wouldn't you like to know the details???  *winks*

The fun parts of Saturday

Now that I've gotten all the mess from the last post out of the way...

Saturday was actually a whole lot of fun. We made fun food, fajitas. Watched more "Chuck" and I find myself loving that show more with every episode. Though He may have mentioned playing Rock Band next time. When I said that I'm not adept at doing different things with each hand, He had the horrendous delightful idea of having me sing...

I'd almost rather learn how to play whatever gaming system He has. Some background, I haven't played a video game since Sega Genesis was popular. I can play some mini games for Final Fantasy really well. I believe that was on the PS2. The kind where you have to press one or two buttons as fast as you can. I can do that, lol.

It's like trying to hit a baseball with a bat. I never quite figured out how to do that. Feet work, as with soccer, no problem. Get my hands involved? I become more than useless. It's a little sad, heh. So we'll see how the video game stuff goes. I'll give it a try, to make Him happy.

I also got to do the happy-we-had-sex-dance. Yes, there is a dance like such: booty dance or this version. Though I now imagine Sir is going to want to see this dance...

We didn't scene, just a fun romp in the sack. I've noticed He's likes me on top so He can squeeze my throat. He found a new spot that uses both of His thumbs, I think. I was a tad preoccupied at the time. All I know it was hot as hell. Pretty sure He had put my hands behind my back. His hands around my neck as I'm slightly leaning over Him, of course riding His cock, mmmm! Then He squeezed my throat and said, "Now" which is my cue to have an orgasm.

I liked that, a lot. I'm shivering remembering it. I also enjoy being on top. (and Sir likely knows exactly where I'm going with this...) Mainly because I can control the muscles in my pussy better. I can get very tight. I do love watching Him get wide eyed. He was enjoying it as much as I was. Plus, when Sir thrusts up His cock hits a really fantastic spot.

So yeah, our sex life is very good, lol. Especially when all it takes is some kissing before we're both ready to pounce each other.

Everything is pretty damn good, even if I was a bit panicked. It's one of the parts of our relationship I love. That we deal with the issues, and not just the emotional by-products. It was maddening in past relationships to be given a metaphorical pat on the head and shooed off to deal with things on my own. Sir never does that.

I've noticed that I process concerns better because of that actually. The consistency of His unwavering support helps keeps the worst of the fears at bay. He's a good man and I'm very lucky to have Him. :-)

Deep Subspace

Last night was incredible, almost beyond words. I had a small get together for some friends, mainly those newer to TTWD. It was a great learning experience for many and it sounds like this will be a reoccurring event, which is more than fine with me. I enjoy helping others.

Even if I was confused for a Domme, lol. They only saw me Top during the night, so I understand why the assumption was made. The Sadist has been out in full force as of late. I think Sir likes it too. The more I delve into the masochism, the more the Sadism wants out of its box. I say they are separate entities but I'm beginning to wonder if they are tied intrinsically together.

So the incredible part...

Sir and I played last night. Yes, He was here and it was wonderful.

At first, we were watching two other plays. Which she giggles at nearly every sensation. We were cracking up over it. Also, we may have found a third to play with us some time. She'd be a heck of a lot of fun! While they were having their fun, Sir had a bit of His own with me.

He teased me with the gag until He noticed that I really wanted to it, heh. He gagged me, slipped on a blindfold, and then handcuffed my hands behind my back. Over the spanking bench I went (sideways, not on it) and He had some fun with me.

Four triggered orgasms later...He is so good at that. Lifted the blindfold long enough to hold up fingers to indicate how many orgasms He wanted me to have, and to make sure I had achieved them. I think He just used floggers on me. The details are a little fuzzy. But I'm still amazed how easily I can cum when He commands me. Instead of attention to my pussy, He can have me orgasm with the touch of implements and pain.

An extension of Him, in some ways. It may not be His physical self, but it's still His touch.

That wasn't even the incredible part of the night. No, it was once He had me on the cross that it really became interesting.

There's a specific level of subspace that before last night I had only read about, but never experienced myself. The space of dissociation from what is occurring at the time. I was aware of everything-the pain, the impact, and Sir.

But it was like there was a step missing in the process of understanding, as if I was looking from the outside in...hmmm not quite that. Awareness with comprehension but not fully experiencing it.

I don't have the words for it. However, the experience was mind-blowing!! I have never been so deep in subspace before. Sir said He noticed when it happened too, which is awesome. We did lose that space for a little bit. What He did to bring it back was so HOT!

First He used a cane. Have I mentioned how much I love that bamboo cane?? ADORE it!! He did use it on my ass and thighs, mmm. But that's not what I mean here. Sir had me facing the cross, my hands up high attached to the cross via cuffs. He put the cane against my neck, had me take a deep breath, then pushed me forward while pulling back on the cane.

OMG!!! When He counted out to 15, I nearly lost it. I was so overwhelmed in the best way. Physically controlled and hearing each number was like a mental leash being pulled.

The best was yet to come though...because after the cane He grabbed a belt. *swoons*

If I love anything more than the cane and floggers, it's the belt. Only by Sir, no one else has ever used it in a way I enjoy. He had me place both hands on the cross; I was to tap out when I needed to be release. He placed the belt against my neck and I just about melted on the spot. When He pulled, I was lost. He pulled it tight about three or four separate times.

I was back into the depths of subspace, where He could do anything He wanted to me. And did He ever have fun!! I did too, of course. I was soaking wet by the end of our play.

Even now, I'm drifting in a happy place. Stable, I have no fear of dropping from this. I used to "drop" on a regular basis. With Sir, I give more of myself over to Him. I surrender. The afterglow is similar to being held in His arms; it's safe and warm.

TTWD has a way of sneaking up and surprising me. Every time I think I figured it all out, a curve ball upsets the whole balance. But that's the best part, there's always something new to explore. If deeper subspace and a better connection to Sir is what I have to look forward to, I welcome what's to come. :)

Soaring

I'm floating in the afterglow as I write this.

There's so much that has happened, that we've said to each other.

I think it was Wednesday night that He said He could get used to having a little sex kitten under His control.

I offered Him Thursday evening control over my orgasms. I told Him it was fine, if not. I was trying to determine the lines between our play and when I had freedom of control.

He hesitated, saying that it would be left in my power. He'd only take control when we both agreed on it. Then it occurred to Him that I'd always say yes.

So He took control of my orgasms and I have to give Him daily reports. Cumming without permission results in a punishment...hopefully that won't be needed.

My head is spinning. I'm trying to stay grounded. Because I know this is but one small step for Him and I into the world of kink.

It's taken basically from July until now to get to this point. I don't mind one bit. The journey here has been incredible and necessary. The building up of trust, respecting the whole of each other, recognizing all the vanilla things that are so amazing...it allowed us to be here.

Part of me is this giddy ball of joy. Tempered by the fact that things will still be going very, very slowly. Though it is nice to be finally approaching the bdsm and kink aspects of each other.

I keep smiling, an expression of sheer bliss. Being controlled, in any regard, sits so well with me.

It's like I have these wings but I'm too afraid to fly on my own. I'd fly too close to the sun, like Icarus not listening to caution. But with a proverbial leash of sorts, I can spread those wings and soar without fear. Knowing I'll be reigned in before going too far.

Granted, it's not near enough control for that kind of freedom. Maybe one day. Only time will tell if this is what He really wants. I'm okay with waiting and enjoying the ride in the mean time.

We have so much fun together. Out with friends. Watching whatever movie He feels like I've missed out on, lol. Helping Him gain confidence in cooking. I enjoy hearing about His day at work. None of that changes. A small, very lovely piece has just been added to the mix.

Wonderfully Terrible Ideas

On Thanksgiving evening, after many well wishes and thanks, I received a text from R.

"Now all we need is a kitten for dessert."

I had been texting with Him at the time and relayed such message. We both laughed, neither of us surprised.

It did however spark a very interesting conversation between us. As I told Him:

"Though if I had to choose, I'd much rather be your dessert, tee hee hee."

Some banter back and forth but then this where it became really interesting...

"I'm just wondering what the main course would be."

And the man tells me I'm the terrible one, HA!

After much discussion we came to the conclusion that it would be great fun playing with another sub girl.

One just came to mind, I'll have to mention her to Him...actually she would be really fun. I've played with her before with R at a couple of private parties. She's a total sweetheart. If I recall, she and Him have met a few times now.

Pretty sure she was at the last party we were all at together which would have been around Halloween. Really, my world is very small. Everyone eventually knows everyone else. Frankly that may be part of the problem He and I have in getting together...that's a topic for an entirely different post.

Now by no means are we in any rush nor is this something approaching a serious relationship. This is a "if we could find the right friend, this would be a fun evening for all."

I was lurking FL late that night and found a sweet woman I sent over to where my group of friends meet. She's looking for friends and events. I believe she'll fit in quite well.

I'll also admit I had an instant crush as soon as I saw her pic. Hot, cute, adorable. I want to do terrible things with her, lol.

Why do I mention her? Because she could have potential. This is why He thinks I'm sometimes very terrible. Guilty as charged!!! But I'm not the one who said this:

"Looking for victims already outside our circle?"

That speaks to how terrible we both are!! *giggles evilly*

Friendship: first and foremost. We also play SSC (safe, sane, consensual). Both of us have too much prior bad experience to take any of those lightly. So don't think either of us will corrupt the poor woman. The offer may be given, if she actually is as interesting as we both think she is.

I think getting out and meeting new people will do her good. I think it's a wonderful thing for everyone in the bdsm community to go out to meet other kinksters in a safe environment.

So yes, He's just as bad as I am...and we have fun ideas floating around for the hopefully near future...

Maybe He'll let me share some of that here!! :-P

Yes or No Game

Saw this over on Fondles' Blog and had to play along. Apparently it's a chain reaction from PK's Blog who I've actually not read before. But I've heard lots of interesting things so I will have to check out that blog sometime.

Two Rules: Answer in Yes or No only. And you can only explain if someone asks.

Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made money illegally? Yes
Had a one night stand? No
Been in a fist fight? Yes

Slept with your best friend? Yes
Had sex in a public place? Yes
Ditched work to have sex? No
Slept with a member of the same sex? Yes

Seen someone die? Yes
Ran from the police? No
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? Yes
Worn your partners unmentionables? Yes

Fallen asleep at work? No
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Ran a red light? Yes
Been fired? Yes

Been in a car accident? Yes
Pole danced or done a striptease? No
Loved someone you shouldn't? Yes
Sang karaoke? Yes

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? No
Caught someone having sex? No
Kissed a perfect stranger? Yes

Shaved your partner? No
Given your private parts a nickname? No
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? No

Played chicken? No
Mooned/flashed someone? Yes
Do you sleep naked? Yes
Blacked out from drinking? No

Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? No
Been with someone because they were in a band? No
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? Yes

Shot a gun? No
Gone outside naked? Yes


Hopefully I won't regret answering these!! LOL!