Our Weekend Adventures

Where to begin? We're both quite worn out and very happy. He left this morning as there was laundry to do as well as a meeting later this afternoon. And by leaving this morning, I mean I barely let Him leave at 11:30.

My cats approve of Him. For those who have pets, you know what I mean when I say that their judgement is pretty damn important. My cats are shy, reserved creatures. My night owl of a cat was downstairs yesterday hanging out with us. She doesn't even do that with me! The other one curled up in between Sir's legs last night. When He told me about that this morning, my heart swelled. That's just so cute!

Okay, for the parts you really want to hear about. Yes, we had our scene on Friday night. It didn't quite go the way we expected. The mood went from a break-in that was going to be filled with lots of fun to the middle of a horror movie. As soon as Sir began channeling Jack Nicholson's Joker, that's when I began crying and internally freaking out. He was trying to play mind games with me and it didn't quite translate.

Everything up to that was a lot of fun. I have lovely aches everywhere to show for it. I definitely resisted and fought back, which was fun. Apparently I liked it a bit too much as He had me on the couch at one point, fucking me hard and I was so wet that He couldn't get any traction. Heh, I ended up begging for Him to fuck me up in the ass once He had moved there. He teased me something terrible about how wanton I was.

The play only lasted about 2 hours, then we unwound for dinner. I was in a weird head space. Sir had decided that He couldn't continue on that way. It wasn't working for Him. I think when I started crying, it cut right down into Him. That man really is too sweet. He's not a mean nor heartless person. He can't even pretend to be one.

I realized that I like resisting, but ultimately I don't want it to be a stranger. I want it to be Sir. If we play aggressively with resistance again, the mood will be very different. Because it is fun fighting back, but I eventually want to give Him everything. And I couldn't help but inhale His aroma every time He got close to me. As I was crying I clung to Him, even as He was the one scaring me. I couldn't pretend because deep down I knew He was the man I'm madly in love with. The man who is my rock and strength.

We went to bed Friday night after lots of great sex. Woke up to more excellent sex. I got to have fun sucking His cock. And wildly fucking Him from on top, lol. That was fun! We also spent a good part of the night cuddled up together. So nice!

Yesterday we vegged and watched movies. He has all of "Who's line is it anyway?" on His laptop which we watched as we wound down for the night. One of the ones we watched was the unusual roommates of Bill Cosby and Hitler episode. I highly recommend watching that, lol. Honestly we just snuggled and reconnected on the couch for most of the day. It was wonderful to spend that time together.

Before He left this morning, we had some heart to heart stuff. Because I still have my doubts at times. Am I good enough? Does He miss me when we're not together? Which He helped calm some of those fears. He said that He missed me already, and He hadn't even left yet. I understood what He meant as I felt the same.

It was a much needed weekend for us. Bonding and bringing us back together. And I get to see Him on Tuesday! None of this waiting a month to see Him bullshit. Overall the weekend was pretty damn amazing and I can't wait to see Him in two days. As I do miss Him so much already.

Departure

I'm all packed up for our trip. All the plans have been settled. We're not driving up alone, and I have the others coming to my place. It was the easiest solution. They'll be here at 5. That's when Sir gets out of work so in case they run late (very likely) there is plenty of time for everything to run smoothly.

I am punctual. It bothers me when others aren't. I've learned who those people are and I adjust time accordingly. My mother is like that so I've had practice. Sir is always punctual, a good trait. Now we can just hope that work doesn't hold Him up. Considering it's a Friday, they shouldn't...I'm not a huge fan of His current employment. An understatement for how He feels.

Anyway, I'm all dolled up. Excited to get on the road and arrive at our destination. Plunge head first into the madness that will likely ensue. I'm bringing a few kinky toys with me. Not sure if we'll use them but the option will be available.

I'll admit I am a bit nervous. I've touched upon the orgasm control now and then. He has plans...I am fully prepared to orgasm many times, in public surrounded by lord only knows how many people. Trying to contain it. Hide it well enough so no one notices.

My inner Sadist and masochist are loving this plan. Totally for it. Great fun. The inner sub has humility, and is wide eyed in fear. Hoping He won't actually do this but knowing He's already done it. Tuesday...the man had me under. Used one of my trigger words to taunt me. In public, among our friends.

Don't get me wrong, I do want this. I'm also well aware that the fantasy and the reality are very different. The fantasy makes me wet and swoon. The reality will do the same, with large doses of humiliation. The kind that leaves me trembling. Good thing I have someone to catch me if I fall.

Sub Drop & Trust

In my post from the other day, I mentioned how I experienced sub drop after what at first seemed like some pretty vanilla fun.

Then it occurred to me how non-vanilla things really were.

He was in control. Took me by the reins, shaping my pliable self to His will.

I've always said "capture my mind, and my body will follow."

He did just that. He got right into my head. By the time I was in His bedroom, I was a compliant submissive.

I trust Him. I feel so safe around Him...

Typically I deal with sub drop on my own. Miss independent.

I was so gone though, so trusting and free...that when I crashed, I clung to Him. Even when I couldn't express words, I showed Him I needed His comfort in that moment.

I'm fine now. Smiling back on a very deliciously fun evening.

It seems He's been a lot of firsts for me. This is one instance among many.

I'm seeing Him later this evening. Should be interesting to see how we interact now that a few more cards on on the table.

Such A Dirty Girl

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In Wishes and Coffee

I've only known him since July. It seems like we talk every day or near about that. It's easy to lose hours in our conversations.

We see each other at local events. Have even done the dinner and coffee thing. I'll be seeing him later this evening.

I'm nervous, excited, worried...petrified. Not of him but of my own reactions. We're mixing things up tonight, for us. Testing each other's strengths and weaknesses.

I want him to be stronger.

Please be stronger. I am a woman with a weakness, in a man with a devious smile, a strong laugh, and a brilliant mind.

He's not the first with the potential to completely overpower me, in every sense. I think he'd be the first to have the courage to try and the skills to do it right.

Ah, if only our paths had met at a different point in time...though technically we had. We were different people then. It truly would have crashed and burned between us. Then we were presented a second chance, once our lives were in better places.

Yet still the timing isn't right.

So I will meet with him this evening. Share a lot of laughs. He'll give me looks that will melt me to my core  and stop my breath. It'll be intense, sexually charged, and controlled. He'll push my buttons and I'll have to resist him at every turn.

All because I asked. Because we need to know if I can. What it'll mean if I can't.

I'm not the only one falling...