Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Everything is changing

I apologize for the unintended hiatus. I needed space to breathe, think, and sort things out.

I was fighting with new insurance about getting meds covered. Trying to replace half my doctors. Dealing with the fall out of my inner circle of friends. Lisa's husband making me contemplate murder for the first time in a while. He can have a heart attack any day and pass away, for all I care. I know that sounds callous but he's making my girlfriend miserable. Treating her like shit.

Frank hasn't been any better over the last five to six months. I'm done. I deserve better. I have better in Lisa and the guy I mentioned last time. I never thought anyone could make me so happy, be so supportive. I didn't know what I needed until we found each other, hiding in plain sight.

Friday everything changes. I'm ending things with Frank. It wasn't an easy or quick decision. Honestly it's been building to this for some time.

Stupid ex husband used me. I won't be used again. I learned my lesson.

I've also been silent bc I knew Steve was getting married. Last Friday in fact. And it mattered until suddenly it didn't. Funny how that works. I wish them all the best, I guess, considering she doesn't like me lol.

I have a bright future to look forward to and that's in the past.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Interesting developments

It feels like part of my life is returning, or more appropriately, currently happening the way it should have gone in the first place. I have a happy, stable primary relationship with Frank. Things are starting to pick back up with Lisa, as if it had never stopped. I believe we're both in better places, mentally at least. We're both all sorts of broken but that's life.

And...I have a person of interest who is also interested in me. There may have been a party last night where I casually flirted with him. A few texts back and forth revealed mutual sexual desire. This is a very good friend of frank and I, so slow is the best approach at this time. There are other factors at play so even thought it will only be casual fun, treading carefully.

My sex drive finally kicked back in in January. Thank all the gods for that!

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Broken promises

Another broken promise. I'm not surprised at this point. Apparently a short text conversation with Steve two months ago, primarily about his upcoming wedding, made his fiancee feel uncomfortable. I didn't know this until the other day when I asked how things were going.

So I said, "Alright, I'll leave you be." Deleted his contact info. Deleted all of our recent messages. Deleted his email. Blocked both of them on fb again. I was trying to be nice. See if maybe over time a friendship could happen.

So much for him saying that he'd always be there for me. But I'm not surprised. People always leave or make excuses eventually. However, I'm now with everyone else in giving their marriage two years. I was the optimistic one saying five years.

Speaking of break up, there's a whole big mess going on with two friends of Frank and I. Case (another friend) and I are playing go between and counselors. Honestly, the best thing for both of them is to be away from each other. They bring out the worst in themselves and each other.

But this is what I do really well. Picking up the pieces of everyone else's lives.