Monday, October 28, 2013

The Power of "No"

I've been thinking quite a bit about the word "No". For a long time, I rarely voiced that "No" even when it was appropriate. It was so deeply conditioned, by the vanilla and later the kink world, that I wouldn't even think about saying "No" until later, after the moment.

It's a difficult thing to explain. At my core, I try very hard to please people. There's the natural aspect where it makes me happy. The developed portion comes from fear. I learned from an early age to be and do what people wanted, or else I'd get yelled at and beat. Add in verbal humiliation from various extended family members over the years, and it's a wonder that I manage as well as I do.

Over the years, it did become easier. I was able to hide more and was no longer as fearful of making my own decisions. But I would do anything for a significant other and my friends. I made major life choices in the past because I wanted to make a significant other happy. Whether I was happy or not was insignificant at the time of the decision. This was before I even became involved with BDSM.

I'll leave it your imaginations as to how badly that went for my well being. I always have a breaking point though, when I'm torn between being pleasing and voicing what's right for me. At the moment of the break, I want both and they're always incompatible. But heck, I'm easy to train and it sticks. There is still left over programming in my mind from past relationships. A breaking point may occur several times before I'm finally done. Eventually self-preservation wins out. The desire for happiness wins out.

Friendships are surprisingly more difficult for me to say "No" than in relationships. Likely because in relationships I don't really ever say "No" until things are irreparable, heh. But with friendships, I know there is a line. Most times I have no idea what that line is. I want to make my friends happy. If it involves something that will be enjoyable to both or all parties, I struggle with keeping a defined boundary. I may not even want whatever is being offered, but in order to be pleasing, I go along with it. At any other time, it's something I'd want. So I rationalize away that it's not a big deal and to simply go along with it.

I think Sir may have an idea this is the case, but likely not the depths in which it exists. It's a complex system in my head. My happiness and peace of mind is far lower on the priority list than anyone would guess. It's gotten a lot better over the last year, with Sir's help. Hell, even why I ask for permission is multi-purposed. I don't think He's ever required it of me, not after all this time.

Part is truly out of respect. I don't want to do anything that would hurt, upset or piss Him off. Part is it keeps me honest and forthright. And thrown in that mix is I know Sir always has my well being in mind. If I mentioned something that He thought wasn't good for me, He'd ask me more about it.

I do see some progress though. Granted, Sir could ask me to do a hell of a lot without me batting an eye...things that would likely scare people. I don't always have healthy boundaries, which is why it's a very good thing that He's an incredibly moral and kind-hearted man. But I have seen some minor differences with other people. I no longer feel like I have to fix everyone else's problems. I'm working on not overextending myself emotionally. There are definitely more physical limitations and expressing boundaries.

All of that still feels very unnatural, though. I'm working towards having my and Sir's happiness being top priority. He's just going to have to live with that, lol. Especially since as of right now, He holds that top position on His own. Something else that may be news to Him. The difference between this relationship and past unhealthy ones is that making Sir happy doesn't require me to be unhappy and dissatisfied. I'm not compromising who I am in order to make Him happy. I couldn't have always said that in the past.

So, hooray for progress? Lol

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Why don't things ever work as they should

About ten inches into knitting what was supposed to be a scarf I realized I was knitting something more akin to a triangle. Apparently something about stockinette stitching gets newbies every time. Here I was thinking it was easy...and it was! I even managed to put swirly patterns in it. Except I had nearly three times as many stitches as I was supposed to...all extending from the one end. I got the other side right, I guess.

I decided to unravel it all and start over. I nearly cried. All that hard work gone. Now I'm working on something where I have to count every last stitch on every row. I can't possibly screw this up, right? Granted, I nearly fumbled already but I fixed my mistake easily enough. I did manage to learn something the first time, rofl.

That's about the only interesting thing going on in my life currently. Unless you'd like to hear about the mysterious red saw dust I found on the ledge on top of the bathroom window. I haven't the faintest idea where that came from, but it's gone now. If it comes back...yeah, let's just hope it was one of those random occurrences in my house. It's over 120 year old. Strange things happen. At a certain point, I just accept it.

I'm monster sitting next weekend. Lisa and her hubby are going to Salem, MA for her birthday. I've been a couple of times and loved it. They should have a good time so long as the rain holds out. I'll be enjoying the adorableness of the monster and pups. Speaking of Lisa, her hubby wants me to help her learn how to cook. And clean more effectively. Love that woman, but a housewife she is not. So I was tasked with helping. Wish me luck...seriously I'm going to need it, lol.

I miss Sir, but that's nothing new. My bed is too large without Him. Plus He's a heat machine and it's cold at night. Hahaha! Maybe, barring His schedule, He'll be able to come hang out with me while I'm monster sitting. It'd be nice. Watching silly movies, snuggling. We can order in something for dinner. I like this plan. So it'd be really nice if His scheduled allowed for it. *coughhinthintcough*

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Inner Dialogue: The Pitfalls of Not Communicating

I'm sorry that I haven't written in over a week. Well that's not entirely true. I haven't been writing here but in a private place just for me. Lord knows no one wants to read all that. I don't want to read it. Not to mention, none of it was true. See? Total waste of time. Y'all didn't miss a thing. ;-)

It's been hard. The minor weekend sadness turned into full blown, deep and dark, depression. I argue that I don't hate myself. When I'm good, I don't have that hate. When I'm bad, it comes with a vengeance. This time to the point where I didn't care about my poor decision making. I still don't care, which is scary. I want to say I feel better now but where's the guilt? Not with me that's for sure.

Hmmm, that's not quite accurate. It's more that I don't think I made a bad choice. I did what I needed to in the moment. Acceptance that I'm not perfect? I'll ask the therapist about it. Even my depression doesn't look right anymore...

Change, ugh! LOL

I'm not mired down by depressive thoughts, so something is going on. Don't ask me though as I haven't a clue what's going on in my head.

This past Sunday, I didn't text Sir (yeah, we're just gonna go with that) until He sent me a text in the early afternoon. He says that's His red flag warning for when things are wrong with me. I had no intention of saying anything to Him about anything going on in my head. After the previous post, I didn't say a thing about anything going on in my head.

So, He asked me if anything was wrong. I almost  didn't say a word about it. Now y'all and even Sir understand why I tell Him about all the small happenings. I trained myself to tell Him the truth. I don't know anything else with Him. Hiding it was hard enough, and I hated myself all the more for not saying something. My inner dialogue looked a little like this:
I should tell Him what's going on...I can't. He's away trying to enjoy Himself. He doesn't need this...But if I hide this, I'll hide more and more. Then He'll find out and hate me...If I ruin His time elsewhere, He'll still hate me...(on repeat for a few days, then He returned only to be swamped by work) I need to tell Him before Saturday. I can't see Him and pretend everything's okay...And ruin what may be the few last good days with Him?...I promised myself I wouldn't lie to Him...It doesn't matter anymore, does it?

Yeah, I know. That's the downgraded version of it too. I legitimately thought He was done with me. It led me on a self-loathing cycle that tested my will. One of those: This is why they've all left. Why can't I be normal? I don't deserve anything happy. I'm going to move far away and never be a burden to anyone again. Depression, gotta love it, heh. I was blaming myself for things that weren't happening and that most certainly were untrue.

I don't know know how I'm doing. Better would be my guess. I don't know how we're doing. We're both independently going through major life changes. We won't know what happens next until we're on the other side of those. For now it's enough to know that we both still want this.

It has to be enough.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Over The Weekend

I was at a wedding on Saturday. It was a vanilla affair, though those getting married are very much kinky. There were friends from the community and we laughed about how we can't behave when we all get together, especially the women. We're just terrible! ;-)

A very good friend of mine teased threatened offered to give me birthday spankings. This is what I mean. No proper sense of vanilla, haha! We have one of those electric chemistry interactions. From the first moment we met, in fact, it's been that way. Don't worry. He's very happily married with two beautiful little girls. We just have this playful teasing about us. So carefully finding a quiet spot, I got more than my current age worth of spankings. I made note of that as well! Damn sadists! :-P

Then we talked about the guys. I referred to them as "The powers that be"...I may or may not be addicted to the tv show Charmed. Nothing too detailed, just that I am involved right now. And to think I almost didn't go to this wedding...

It was a bad weekend that I'm not sure is really over. But I got talked through my shitty head space and went. I'm sure the 8 or 9 glasses (at least? LOL) of wine helped matters as well. Though I did sleep terribly with nightmares later that night. It's bad when I sleep for 10 hours and it feels like I was up all night arguing and fighting.

I have therapy today. I'm going to hang out with Lisa too. Because I don't really know what else to do. I can cry and snuggle with her. Maybe sort out everything going on. I have no idea if it's the depression or if things really suck as much as I think they do.

It's weird because I asked him if it was alright if my friend gave me birthday spankings. And that led to an involved conversation that never got finished. I'll add it to the list. Though it feels like I don't really care very much either way at this point. I probably asked because I was drinking and was working on autopilot. Not even thinking about everything.

Rebecca was at the wedding and we talked briefly. She confirmed some things going on in my head. Things I don't really know what to do with. Except that I love him to depths that scare me to even think about. Of course she went places that I don't want to go near and she pointed out a very obvious bit of info.

I'm angry and frustrated with people. I'm about ready to be done because I'm not everyone's mother, even if they treat me that way. Semi-hermit. Keep people around who deserve to be around, fuck everyone else. Chris is incredibly mildly concerned. Though I think he's worried about me going completely hermit, whereas I would be bored and lonely with that. Personally, I think it's a healthy decision. I'm tired of giving to people and never getting anything in return. I deserve to have good people around me who support and care about me. The abruptness might be because of the crippling depression that returned but I think it's valid. I'll talk with the therapist about it, if I think of it amid everything else.

And no, we haven't talked about this or anything terribly serious since that post the other day. He's still away. Wants to celebrate my birthday some time when he gets back. I miss him. I want him to wrap me up in his arms and tell me everything will be okay. But I'm not sure if that's possible. Amazing what a week's difference can make.

Monday, October 14, 2013

The Rose Bush (fairy tale)

This is a fairy tale I've been working on.
It's still rough, but I wanted to have something
to share with you.

The Rose Bush

There once was a young orphan girl, who grew up with a step mother who tried her best to care for her. The step mother's heart was not filled with wickedness, but pure ice. A shield of love lost and burned, the step mother declared no one would harm her heart again. In time it grew so cold that the heart had frozen, any love trapped in the icy prison.

So came the orphan girl into the step mother's life, the sole heiress and a promise of great beauty. Where she once knew warmth, she knew only cold. The step mother taught her that the world would destroy any who did not have a heart of ice. She only needed to love herself--it would be enough. But the orphan girl realized one day that with a frozen heart, the step mother wasn't capable of even loving herself.

Over the years, the young girl's heart began to freeze as well. She had no knowledge of love, beyond a vague sense, so she did not know what it meant to love, neither herself or another. She grew up to be a beautiful young woman. Every suitor who came calling, and they ventured across land and sea to find her, was turned away. They came with lust in their hearts and greed on their minds. She fell into despair, believing that the men were incapable of loving her because of her cold heart.

Even when the orphan woman tried to love one of the men, one who sought only her happiness and promised her a world of love, her frozen heart prevented a love connection from forming. The man did not want a bride with a heart of ice. With his rejection, the woman shut her heart away completely, not knowing she further encased it in ice. Her world became one of darkness.

When some years passed, the young woman gave up on ever finding love and the warmth she knew from her childhood. She had a wisp of a memory of that warmth of love. It suffused every inch of her from head to toes. Or at least that's what she told herself, as the details were like smoke in the wind.

One day while sitting in the local gardens, she saw a man tending one of the rose bushes. Fascinated she watched him, with his carefully honed craft. She saw the man cut off some of the beginning buds. Frowning, she compared herself to those roses, the ones that would never have a chance to fully grow. The man glanced her way, realizing she was staring at him. He gave her a friendly wave and went along his way, tending to other plants.

She returned a few days later, once again people watching in the garden. There was the man again, pruning yet more tiny buds from the rose bush. The young woman began to believe that the man didn't know what he was doing. There would be none that would bloom if he kept removing them. The man once again saw her watching and gave her another wave. This time she noticed the smile he flashed as he waved, and she couldn't help returning the smile. It was the first smile that graced her lips in many years. Suddenly feeling a sharp ache within her, she returned home for the day to rest.

The next day, she went back to the gardens in hopes of seeing the gardener. She sat closer to the rose bush this time, on a stone bench across the path. She pretended to read the book she brought as the man came by to check on the roses. This time he did not remove any, but smiled. Confused, the woman peaked over the book to see what he was about. It was then that she saw the beauty and mastery of his skill. The roses that were blooming were quite large and breathtaking. There was only one or two per branch, and they flourished without sharing the space with the multitude of blooms that surely would have grown without the tending of the gardener.

The man caught her marveling over his work. He sat down next to her, introducing himself. She smiled and gave her name. She apologized for doubting his skill. When he looked confused she explained that it appeared as if he was harming the plant when it was clear he helped shape it to become its most beautiful. He took her hand and showed her around the rest of the gardens, pointing out the careful work he'd done to help each plant thrive.

Each day the lonely woman returned to the gardens to spend time with the careful gardener. She found herself enjoying his company, wishing regretfully that her heart was coated in ice. He was a man she believed she could have loved otherwise. Some days, she had to return home early as a pain would envelop from within. This continued on for a month, until one morning the pain was so intense that she couldn't move out of bed. There she stayed sleeping fitfully with strange dreams. Her gardener spent his free time by her bedside, reading to her from one of the books in her collection.

After a week had passed, she awoke feeling better than she could ever recall. As she opened her eyes, she saw the gardener by her side, sleeping in a chair with a book sprawled on his lap. She was softly smiling at him, unaware, as he woke. He was overjoyed to see her in better health and suggested a walk through the gardens for some fresh air. Overjoyed, she ran through the gardens even as he shouted for her to be careful. They spent the day amid the blooming and flowering plants. She stopped to smell whichever plant caught her interest. The young man had never seen her smile so much as he did that day.

As the sun was beginning to set, they stopped at the stone bench in front of the rose garden. Realizing he'd found his true love, the man knelt down before her and asked for her hand in marriage. He said since meeting her, he'd thought of no other. She made his world brighter. She was a flower that bloomed and he wanted to care for her the rest of their days.

The woman was stunned at his proposal. Then she began to cry into her hands, her misfortune of a frozen heart causing her worse pain than she could have ever imagined. Concerned, he asked what was the matter and she began telling the tale of her step mother's heart of ice as well as how hers came to the same misfortune. She begged him to tend to her like he did his flowers. Maybe with his skill he could chip away the ice surrounding her heart.

Unfortunately, he shook his head saying that there was nothing more he could do. She slipped to the ground and sobbed all the harder in her despair. Never had her body hurt this much before. She ached from her head to her toes. Deep within her, a burn began that fluttered around the edges of her memory. Strong hands gently grasped hers and wiped away her tears, explaining that he could only shape the plants to bring out their own individual beauty. The plants did all the hard work in growing to be something marvelous.

He kissed her then, and a warmth spread between them. She stared at him, uncomprehending what had occurred. She argued that her heart was ice. This warmth must be imagined. It was then that understanding dawned on her love's features. He asked when the aching began. She told the story in full, and how it began here in the gardens. Laughing, he picked her up and swung her about. He said that being around the flowers must have helped the ice melt from around her heart. It must have been what caused her week of illness. Now she was free to love.

Still confused, but too happy and in love to question his guess further in that moment, she agreed to marry the gardener that had changed her world. Every day at his behest she would spend hours in the gardens, watching as he worked. A year after their wedding and a child swelling within her, she pondered over the mystery of her now unfrozen heart. It was while watching him prune this year's roses that the truth became clear. It was the man, not the flowers, who had unfrozen her heart. Her curiosity and his tenderness had warmed all that had been cold.

She rushed over to her marvelous husband and kissed him passionately. He looked down upon her, pleasantly baffled by her strange behavior. He gently caressed the side of her face. Smiling up, she said to her love, "Thank you for tending the roses."

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Screw it, I don't know how to title this

So, this is something I've known for a while. I've been trying to make it work, redefine the box. I've got nothing else, sorry.

I can't keep defining this one way, when he doesn't want the label. I won't keep breaking my heart by calling it something that I guess it's clearly not. There's this sickly humorous thought that it's never been D/s and I've been deluding myself this whole time. A bitter thought that he's let me keep up with it.

Regardless, we're still doing whatever the hell it has been. I just won't be writing about it. I seem to get the wrong impressions of things that way. And ya know what, my own little world is okay with not knowing either way. Or at the least not being repeatedly proven wrong in a semi-public light.

I don't resent him for it. I'm not mad or upset, at least not specifically at him. He's really one of the few good things in my life. I've been working on being more honest with myself and others. This is just the plain truth of things, even if I want desperately want to be wrong.

As to what I'll be writing about from now on, your guess is as good as mine.

There is a short little fairy tale/short story I'm working on. When that's a little less rough around the edges, I'll post it for y'all. After that, I'm not sure. Maybe some more creative works--poetry, stories, and the like.

I'm also open to topic suggestions. If there's anything you'd like to hear me ramble on about, ask away. :-P

Yet people always wonder why I hate my birthday, heh. Happy birthday to me, right? I'm officially announcing it now that I'll not be making public appearances next October. Maybe staying away from people the whole month will get me through it easier. I highly doubt it but hell I can try.

Oh hello depression. I guess 5 days away from you is better than nothing. Really hate October. Can it be next year already? Please?

Monday, October 7, 2013

Facing Jealously

Sir was here yesterday and it was a very good time. Happy sub, and I think a happy Sir too.

My jaw ached after He was done with me and continued to do so this morning, lol. Sometimes I really struggle with getting Him off. I've never had an issue with it before when it came to other partners. Apparently my need to breathe every so often was what hinders His orgasm. Guess I'm just out of practice, which means we need to do this more.

I woke up happier than I've been in years. Genuine, pure happiness. I barely recognized the person staring back at me in the mirror this morning. It's been a long time. The change didn't start yesterday. It's been throughout the last year, with a heavy bout of depression and crawling my way out of it.

This time is different. I care more. Fear of loss has always been present but the clarity of the emotion has been one of the strongest since meeting Sir. The dullness that comes with depression is gone. The last of those walls are down, for the present anyway. While we were fooling around, Sir mentioned having sex and playing with someone else.

At first, a deep wave of jealousy washed over me. I took a moment to get it under control. Instead, tears started to fall. Sir pulled me close, kissing them away. If I ever want to work on those jealousy issues, Sir said He'd be willingly to help. I'm not sure how much I like His idea of "helping" considering what it entails. The idea of being tied up and forced to watch is not a pleasant one.

Real, raw emotions. I'm not used to them. It's not bad though. I am incredibly happy and content. I have hope and look forward to the future. I have wishes, desires, wants, motivations. I've probably had them for some time but noticing them is different.

I realize that I have a lot of love to give. Should things not work out with Sir, heavens above it'll hurt, but I'll survive. I don't think I've felt that way once over the last year. I do fully expect everything to work out just fine. For more reasons than I could count, including the only secret I've kept from Him. Maybe one of these days, or years lol, I'll tell Him what else I was shown the night we went to see Les Miserables. That one should leave Him guessing, though I would tell Him now if He asked. The fear is not so great anymore.

There's something refreshing about admitting that fear and facing it head on. It's funny, even. Because I want Him to date someone else, if He chooses to do such. I want to be her friend and confidant. Maybe even gang up on Sir at times. I want that for Him, if it would make Him happy. Even as the jealousy and fear of such a thing strikes me to the core, I wish Him only happiness however He may find it.

And isn't love greatest in the face of adversity and challenge? It's also been easy for me, when it comes to sharing my partners. I've never felt those pains of jealousy and such deep seated fear before. Maybe it's because I've never given my heart so freely or fully. In the beginning it wasn't requited love. It took time, whereas I fell that first day. I've been falling ever the more in love since and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Now, it's so easy between us that it's baffling. Maybe a touch scary too.

I'm sure I will need to fully face this jealousy one day. I'll have to trust Sir, and trust myself. I think I can do that, when the time comes.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Neat Freak

Dear Atkins website, 
Two and a half hours of doing anything is a workout, 
even if I was only cleaning at the time. 
Sincerely, a sore but satisfied sub

I have a list that I've barely dented. Granted, I did start the list after finishing several cleaning jobs so they didn't make the list of chores. I was half tempted to add them simply to cross them off to make myself feel better. But that's makes more visual space for the list and I'm a less versus more kind of gal.

This started as a list of things I wanted to do before Sir comes over tomorrow. Just some basic cleaning and straightening. He's a guy. He's not going to notice the small stuff, I think? See now I don't know and He too polite to say anything.

Regardless, my OCD kicked in yesterday and I decided that I'm going to super clean everything in my house from top to bottom. I'm currently working on the kitchen, which I do keep clean. Though I don't always think to dust the lights and wipe down the fridge, or scrub the doors because apparently my hands are filthy when I touch them. Or dust that shelf above the laundry--it is tucked away and under so I can easily ignore the dust and dirt, lol. Wash the windows and ledges, dust the blinds. It's a very long list, just for the kitchen.

It'll likely take me the better part of the week or more to get everything thoroughly cleaned but I'm motivated to do it. When I'm not bogged down by depression, I'm a neat freak. Everything must go in its proper place and be clean. I have another 5 hours of cleaning that I'll be able to get done today (also have to run to the store even though I was just there yesterday, I even had a list! But I forgot some things and need extra for tomorrow). That's probably about all my body will be able to handle before it revolts against me.

Yes, Sir is coming over tomorrow to hang out and have lunch. Though He did tease me by saying that He might be bringing my little friend, and by that He means a gorgeous and glorious glass dildo that I adore. I may have kept myself up a little late last night with fantasies and orgasms because I'm very needy for Sir's touch, kiss, smile...maybe being pinned down to the bed while He whispers half threats, half promises in my ear...Sorry I just spaced out, lol!

Anyway, I decided to spoil Sir with a nice lunch. Home made burgers and fries, with a jalepeno and habenero cheese to top the burgers. And of course some bacon. I'll make up a side salad to pretend to be healthy. For dessert, peanut butter cookies with dark chocolate chips. Mmmmm!!!!

Once last thought: I don't do the housework and cleaning for a "good girl" or praise. It's something that needs to get done. I can't see Sir being the strict disciplinarian that I read about on other blogs, especially about cleaning. But I do miss it now and then. Before Sir, I wasn't only a bedroom sub. Whereas Sir wants me to be more independent and self-sufficient, standing on my own two foot better. He's pushing me into that narrow bedroom submissive position, whether He knows it or not. I am more than capable of running my own life but god help Sir if He ever changes His position on this. That's going to be one hell of a battle. :-P

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Spa Getaway with Lisa

Pampered. That's the only word I need for the spa resort. I wish I had taken pictures of the room and the grounds. I only snapped a few pictures, and they're of Lisa mainly. We were too in heaven and overwhelmed to think about taking pictures of the room when we got there. It was only an overnight trip. It flew by very quickly. We're already talking about doing this again next year and staying the full weekend.

It wasn't entirely uneventful but I'll explain our trip in full. We left around noon to grab liquor (none in the town or near it, maybe because it's historical??). Granted we only wanted wine but I didn't want to pay $30 a bottle at the local wineries. We arrived in the downtown around 1:30 or so in the afternoon. Now we didn't know that there was an antique fair going on right in the square of the downtown on the sidewalks and parking spots.

But we managed to find a lot to park in and we went in search of lunch. As you can imagine, the sidewalks were crowded with people. Even at 2 pm, there was an hour wait, at least, for every restaurant. Lisa in her brilliance decided to ask a local for an off the beaten path restaurant that wouldn't be busy. Basically looking for where the locals eat versus the tourist spots.

Honest to God, I've never been to a diner in a strip mall. It was clean, filled with locals and not very busy. The food was inexpensive and amazing. I understand, sometimes we're meddled with for a reason. We probably ate better food there than anywhere else in the dinner was so kind to point out to us later that evening.

By the time we ate, walked back to the car, and found the resort we were staying at, it was near about time for check in. The place is stunning from the moment you walk in. Antiques seamlessly placed among new furniture, all of it cozy and comfortable. There were several common rooms for the guests, including a movie room and a kitchen.

Once we were shown our room, we decided to go swimming. Heated, indoor pool. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a pool more. After about an hour swim, we got around for dinner. We got all dressed up as the resort made reservations for us at a fairly nice restaurant. Only the place we went to was horrible. They served burnt french onion soup. How does one burn soup? By scraping the burnt bits off the bottom of the container, and then serving it for a customer to find plastic-like black flakes in the soup.

We didn't stay after that. So it was Saturday night and everywhere was going to be busy. We ended up at a TGIF and we couldn't have had better service. I'm the type of person who will go to a chain restaurant when I have to, and not much more. That night I was very thankful for the consistency and dependency.

After we got back, dessert was served to us in the room. A gluten free pound cake with fresh strawberries and homemade whip cream. So good! Then we relaxed in the jacuzzi and drank wine. Several glasses of wine later, we got a little frisky. Turned on the TV to drown out any sounds that we made, lol.

The next morning, breakfast was served to us in bed. The people who owned the resort were fantastic to us. They were excellent in making sure everything was gluten and soy free. There are only 6 guest rooms, so we were given plenty of attention while still feeling like we were the only people there. Absolutely perfect and everything Lisa and I were looking for.

Once breakfast was finished, that's when we got our massages. It was the perfect ending for our trip. We went back to our respective homes relaxed and refreshed. Like I said, we're already planning next year. Stay a full weekend to enjoy more time in the pool! It was exactly the getaway Lisa and I needed. :)

Also, I was telling Sir about this place, as it's only about 45 minutes away. Normally I have to talk Him into things like this. Apparently I made a good sell, as we're thinking about a weekend getaway for us in late spring, early summer. He wants to relax and enjoy Himself. Because there's a kitchen and a outdoor gas grill, I'm all for bringing some food with us and not driving anywhere all weekend. Sounds like a good plan, right?