Saturday, October 12, 2013

Screw it, I don't know how to title this

So, this is something I've known for a while. I've been trying to make it work, redefine the box. I've got nothing else, sorry.

I can't keep defining this one way, when he doesn't want the label. I won't keep breaking my heart by calling it something that I guess it's clearly not. There's this sickly humorous thought that it's never been D/s and I've been deluding myself this whole time. A bitter thought that he's let me keep up with it.

Regardless, we're still doing whatever the hell it has been. I just won't be writing about it. I seem to get the wrong impressions of things that way. And ya know what, my own little world is okay with not knowing either way. Or at the least not being repeatedly proven wrong in a semi-public light.

I don't resent him for it. I'm not mad or upset, at least not specifically at him. He's really one of the few good things in my life. I've been working on being more honest with myself and others. This is just the plain truth of things, even if I want desperately want to be wrong.

As to what I'll be writing about from now on, your guess is as good as mine.

There is a short little fairy tale/short story I'm working on. When that's a little less rough around the edges, I'll post it for y'all. After that, I'm not sure. Maybe some more creative works--poetry, stories, and the like.

I'm also open to topic suggestions. If there's anything you'd like to hear me ramble on about, ask away. :-P

Yet people always wonder why I hate my birthday, heh. Happy birthday to me, right? I'm officially announcing it now that I'll not be making public appearances next October. Maybe staying away from people the whole month will get me through it easier. I highly doubt it but hell I can try.

Oh hello depression. I guess 5 days away from you is better than nothing. Really hate October. Can it be next year already? Please?

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