Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Burnt Out

I am burnt out. I feel like I've been going nearly nonstop since the beginning of July. I'm behind on house and yard work. I wanted to get more painting done. It's like I became social again and lost my ability to do anything else. I have to find a happy medium, somehow. I need down time.

All weekend I was falling apart. I was fine when around other people, but the moment I was alone I started crying my eyes out. Really bad mood swings of anger and loneliness and sadness, but no specific trigger.

Steve was the one who mentioned that I sounded burnt out. I was worried it was the depression coming back. But after the post that's sitting in my drafts...I am much angrier than I thought I was.

I am still angry with him. Hurt. Upset. Sad. Lonely...Angry. It physically hurts deep in my chest when I think about everything.

I realized that I don't trust him as I did before. I'm more reserved. There are things that I just don't talk about that I never would have hesitated over in the past.

One day at a time.


  1. I'm burnt out too... this fall has been really brutal on me. I know this doesn't help, but I was thrilled to commiserate with someone. Hang in there and I'll hang in there and it has to get better, right? Right?!?

    1. Woooo, we can be burnt out buddies. Hahaha

      It has to get better at some point, for both of us. I have to believe that or I'll go crazy.