Burnt Out

I am burnt out. I feel like I've been going nearly nonstop since the beginning of July. I'm behind on house and yard work. I wanted to get more painting done. It's like I became social again and lost my ability to do anything else. I have to find a happy medium, somehow. I need down time.

All weekend I was falling apart. I was fine when around other people, but the moment I was alone I started crying my eyes out. Really bad mood swings of anger and loneliness and sadness, but no specific trigger.

Steve was the one who mentioned that I sounded burnt out. I was worried it was the depression coming back. But after the post that's sitting in my drafts...I am much angrier than I thought I was.

I am still angry with him. Hurt. Upset. Sad. Lonely...Angry. It physically hurts deep in my chest when I think about everything.

I realized that I don't trust him as I did before. I'm more reserved. There are things that I just don't talk about that I never would have hesitated over in the past.

One day at a time.