Evil, god damn sadist!
I loved every second of it....jerk. :-P
Sir invited me over yesterday for a couple hours before He had to go off to do other things in the evening. I was already in a happy place because when I was dragging my feet about pulling weeds outside earlier in the day, Sir helped motivate me. I finished that a little before Sir texted me about coming over.
So I made sure He was alright with me in garden clothes, probably still had dirt on me somewhere. He said that He didn't care, and was alluding to some sexy fun times happening today.
They did happen. But He made me work for every last inch. It was a toss between a personal growth moment and the fact that I apparently amuse the hell out of Sir when I'm put in situations that make me slightly uncomfortable.
I don't initiate things. I talk too much. I flail. I think too much. All the uncomfortable feelings of having the illusion of being in control. I'm not stupid. It was an illusion, nothing more. Even that...ugh. *flail*
I worked for every last little inch that He outright told me was going to happen. Every kiss, every article of clothing that was removed, what would come next and how. That was all me because that's what He wanted.
It wasn't until I begged for Him to fuck me--I didn't care how, just that it needed to happen--that He dropped the illusion and took full control. He took me right there on the floor. It was fantastic. The moment His cock was inside me, it didn't matter how long we had sex or if I had an orgasm.
I was already riding the waves of bliss. He teased and played with my mind, a very sadist game of torture that I had to be fully involved in--throw myself into the fire willingly. And really, nothing makes me hotter or happier than when He fucks with my mind. Just at the edge of being in control of things, He takes back full control and claims what it His.
I couldn't have asked for more. It's something I never would have thought of in any fantasy, and of course the reality was so much better for it.
During all this, I kept telling Him how lucky He was. I'd never push myself into such an emotionally vulnerable...stretchy...situation for anyone else. And He is lucky to have me.
I'm luckier. :-)