Sunday, July 20, 2014

Life Choices?

An interesting thought occurred the last time I was at therapy. There is no word or general understanding for: "People you are in love with, but with whom you do not share a sexual and/or romantic relationship."

I wouldn't count crush, as that isn't the right tone for the feelings. I think the above idea also explains me perfectly. I fall in love with people. I really just fall into that sort of thing, unintentionally.

Steve may have a valid point in that I want to give my everything to one person. Grrrr. I'm kind of agreeing and ignoring that point at the moment.

However that doesn't change the falling in love with people bit. Some people would say to call it friendship, but I have friends where the in-love part doesn't fit. Maybe there can't be an easy word for it or I need to invent one.

I'm honestly not going anywhere with this post. I don't have any answers right now. This is where I'm at with my thoughts. Monogamish?

Also, sorry for the lack of updating. I was with Chris. That's a whole other post unto itself.

Aaaaaaand going on a date before I went home. That was odd. Both? Yeah, with the guy from my friend's party. I was in the area so before I came home, we spent a few hours together. He returned the bite mark. That was amusing. It was nice to go out with someone and not have to worry about relationship stuff. Being 3 hours apart, I can't see it going anywhere...not that I'm even in an emotional place to have that anyway. But it was a fun evening, and I need a little more of that in my life.

As for me? Well, I'm no closer to an answer on anything. I'm really, really not. There are two paths, and over the last month, one of those has had very clear signs pointing to it. Then over the last week, the other path has been making itself known.

I'm a Libra, which means I like balance and dislike choices. I'm also not a huge fan of upsets my balance. So when the Fates say "Choose one", I'm more likely than not going to stay exactly where I am.

Over the last week I was actually explaining a little bit about all of this. The joke that kept being repeated is that I'm the shiniest. I really wish that was a joke, on so many levels. I'm really not that shiny, except everyone and everything seems to think I am...

I realize that's not going to make a whole lot of sense. I don't think it's supposed to? Only that this really does make being a hermit seem more appealing. Yeah, an extroverted hermit. That'll last, lol. Especially since I'm supposed to be hanging out with people because I've been a hermit for far too long.

I have absolutely no answers and more questions. Ain't that the story of my life.

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