I finally talked about the grief and it's horrible stages I've been going through with my therapist today. Yes, we talked about Steve for the first time since I told him how I ended the friendship. It led to a windy path where I learned that present grief will often bring up feelings and connections to past grief.
That would explain dreaming about both Craig and Steve. Why a lingering shadow of a "friendship" has been haunting me lately. We're friends on Facebook so I get a glimpse into her life, nothing more. My heart still hurts every time she's sad.
I don't deal with loss and grief very well.
I also don't have it in me right now to go into all the details from therapy. I might still be processing.
It's real now, in a way it wasn't before. Not that I was in denial, but my therapist is different. It means something has shifted or processed enough for me to confront things on an entirely new level. So it's real. And it hurts again like it hasn't hurt since I said goodbye.