Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Anything

I was thinking back to a play party from the spring time the other morning. Overall it was a very fun day, and there are plenty of fond memories. One came to mind though, which I've been mulling over ever since. All I remember is that I wanted something, from that party. I'm not sure what I asked or possibly begged for. I was a touch out of it at the time. I do remember someone asking me what I'd do to get whatever it is that I wanted. I replied, "Anything." The three of them smirked and taunted me at my answer. Who were those people? Sir, Kevin, and Rebecca. Frickin sadists, lol!!

Remembering that little incident, I got to thinking about where I draw personal lines and what that answer of "anything" means to me. If it's not obvious, I trust all three of them not to intentionally harm me, and if something should accidentally happen, help put me back together. Sir has a deeper trust level overall in my day to day life, but as far as play goes, we've talked enough that expectations are set. I also know that I wouldn't have uttered my "anything" answer if Sir hadn't been present at the time. That is reserved for my D/s relationships.

Past Doms, and even Sir to some extent, haven't liked the "anything" answer in reply to what I'd be willing to do. Now you'd think it would inflate their egos, but Doms tend to like specifics. It's very hard to be creative and interesting when one's mind is half floating away in pleasure. That should be noted and taken into consideration. That's all I'm saying about that, lol. However, I understand the perspective of the Dom in that situation.

Contrary to what that "anything" might seem to suggest, it's not an all encompassing word that delves into insane or harmful situations. By the point I'd say that as a response, negotiations and trust have been established. Limits have been discussed. I know Sir isn't about to do something batshit crazy when we play, no matter what I say. So I don't have to say "I'd do anything but x, y, and z" because x, y, and z have already been established.

I've seen this argument for full time slavery thrown about. If a sub doesn't trust their dom not to break limits or stay within consensual realms of interactions, then it's not BDSM or kink, it's abuse. The whole "You'd let your Dom/Master break your arm if he asked?? Because you said 'anything' goes" is just fucking stupid. We play in consent. The endless what-ifs are bullshit and unnecessary.

So it goes for my "anything". In those moments where Sir would ask what I'd give? There is no limit or tit for tat. I'd give Him anything He'd ask for because it's what I want. It's what I signed up for, heh. He would only have to ask, and it's His. There's no "well, today I'm willing to do this." That's not how I function, it's not what relationships are for me. Forget the whole kink aspects, and that's still how I am.

That's what love looks like, right? Love is putting someone else above your own needs, wants, and desires. Love is about focusing on the other person instead of yourself. Why would a power exchange relationship that is clearly supposed to enhance those feelings, why would it be any different? It's not, that's why.

I'd give Sir whatever He desires because I wouldn't ever hold back on Him. So that little word of "anything" is far more powerful and meaningful than I could ever express. I know it's been seen as a flippant answer in the past, but it's one I won't give unless I truly mean it.

2 comments:

  1. I am with you on this one 100% ... "Anything" should be within the limits of your already established boundaries. But very good post & so nice to see you Darlin' .. I have missed you. (((hugs)))

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    1. Thanks GK :) I've missed being around and reading blogs. I haven't been keeping up with anyone's blogs over the past few weeks.

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