Mmmmm! Mmmm mmmm mmmm!!!
Can that just be my post?? Lol
It began with me giggling evilly. Sir wanted to know why. Oh just thinking naughty thoughts. He wanted specifics. So I sent a few thoughts, which I guess turned Him on. That led to us hanging out today, and among other things. :-D
One of my kinky desires has been to be taken up the ass with no lube, no stretching. Just being possessed. The blogs I've read have not helped this matter because I've read numerous accounts of that very thing. If I'm honest, it was one of those things that scared me, even as it excited me. In my silly, twisted mind that made me want it all the more.
So what was it like? Painful. Obvious, I know. After about a minute or so, my body yielded. That sense of surrealism when endorphins are rushing through my body. The push of pain only heightening pleasure. The surrender. I was simply His to take and use, knowing I asked for it. Pulled out in a whisper, but I did ask.
What happened today was not what I expected. Not just with the anal sex, and believe me that was very unexpected. There was a lot of foreplay and possession going on. I felt wanted and desired in a way that sparked the very core of who I am. It wasn't what He did, but how. The passion, the playfulness. The peace that filled me for a few hours. Moments beyond words.
He made a comment, during the end of our time together, about how we needed to spend time together without being all over each other. I basically replied: I'm a sexual creature. Take it or leave it. But that's not the right answer for it, not really. While it's true in its own right, it's more than that.
I pray the day never comes when seeing Him doesn't make my pulse race and my breath hitch. That I will never get enough of touching and kissing Him, being held in His arms.
Want in on a secret? It would never, ever be that way without everything else we are. He's the one who sees me, truly sees me. We were talking about a person from my past last night, and how my heart has been stifled by fear. Why I'm so suspicious, even now. But truly, He's the one who walks me out of the shadows of my mind. He embraces me just as I am, with understanding and compassion. He opened my eyes to whatever divine path I'm being led down.
When He passes the internal walls that hold everything I keep from the world, as if they don't exist, how could the sexual walls be any different? He says I'm easy, and I say it too. But Sir, only with you, and you earned every ounce of trust, along with the ease of surrender. So if the day would ever come when He doesn't ignite the flames of passion, something much deeper is very wrong.
If the price to pay is the spark of desire that never fades, I'll pay it gladly every day.