Last night was incredible, almost beyond words. I had a small get together for some friends, mainly those newer to TTWD. It was a great learning experience for many and it sounds like this will be a reoccurring event, which is more than fine with me. I enjoy helping others.
Even if I was confused for a Domme, lol. They only saw me Top during the night, so I understand why the assumption was made. The Sadist has been out in full force as of late. I think Sir likes it too. The more I delve into the masochism, the more the Sadism wants out of its box. I say they are separate entities but I'm beginning to wonder if they are tied intrinsically together.
So the incredible part...
Sir and I played last night. Yes, He was here and it was wonderful.
At first, we were watching two other plays. Which she giggles at nearly every sensation. We were cracking up over it. Also, we may have found a third to play with us some time. She'd be a heck of a lot of fun! While they were having their fun, Sir had a bit of His own with me.
He teased me with the gag until He noticed that I really wanted to it, heh. He gagged me, slipped on a blindfold, and then handcuffed my hands behind my back. Over the spanking bench I went (sideways, not on it) and He had some fun with me.
Four triggered orgasms later...He is so good at that. Lifted the blindfold long enough to hold up fingers to indicate how many orgasms He wanted me to have, and to make sure I had achieved them. I think He just used floggers on me. The details are a little fuzzy. But I'm still amazed how easily I can cum when He commands me. Instead of attention to my pussy, He can have me orgasm with the touch of implements and pain.
An extension of Him, in some ways. It may not be His physical self, but it's still His touch.
That wasn't even the incredible part of the night. No, it was once He had me on the cross that it really became interesting.
There's a specific level of subspace that before last night I had only read about, but never experienced myself. The space of dissociation from what is occurring at the time. I was aware of everything-the pain, the impact, and Sir.
But it was like there was a step missing in the process of understanding, as if I was looking from the outside in...hmmm not quite that. Awareness with comprehension but not fully experiencing it.
I don't have the words for it. However, the experience was mind-blowing!! I have never been so deep in subspace before. Sir said He noticed when it happened too, which is awesome. We did lose that space for a little bit. What He did to bring it back was so HOT!
First He used a cane. Have I mentioned how much I love that bamboo cane?? ADORE it!! He did use it on my ass and thighs, mmm. But that's not what I mean here. Sir had me facing the cross, my hands up high attached to the cross via cuffs. He put the cane against my neck, had me take a deep breath, then pushed me forward while pulling back on the cane.
OMG!!! When He counted out to 15, I nearly lost it. I was so overwhelmed in the best way. Physically controlled and hearing each number was like a mental leash being pulled.
The best was yet to come though...because after the cane He grabbed a belt. *swoons*
If I love anything more than the cane and floggers, it's the belt. Only by Sir, no one else has ever used it in a way I enjoy. He had me place both hands on the cross; I was to tap out when I needed to be release. He placed the belt against my neck and I just about melted on the spot. When He pulled, I was lost. He pulled it tight about three or four separate times.
I was back into the depths of subspace, where He could do anything He wanted to me. And did He ever have fun!! I did too, of course. I was soaking wet by the end of our play.
Even now, I'm drifting in a happy place. Stable, I have no fear of dropping from this. I used to "drop" on a regular basis. With Sir, I give more of myself over to Him. I surrender. The afterglow is similar to being held in His arms; it's safe and warm.
TTWD has a way of sneaking up and surprising me. Every time I think I figured it all out, a curve ball upsets the whole balance. But that's the best part, there's always something new to explore. If deeper subspace and a better connection to Sir is what I have to look forward to, I welcome what's to come. :)