Thursday, May 2, 2013


Want to know something funny? Vibrations help break up chest congestion. How was this discovered? Sir playing with a cute new vibrator and running it over various parts of my body. One downside, I can't breathe very well while that's going on.

Yep, still sick. Still monster sitting. It's been a long week. I told Sir that I'm not ready for this full time. Maybe in a year or two. Not that there's anyone I would be having a child with at the moment with anyway. Actually since I've been watching the monster, I've had several conversations about having kids one day. The BF and I don't have that kind of relationship. It's something we both know.

As for Sir, we talk about it more generally. Like if either of us has kids one day, feel bad for them, hahaha. I'm no nonsense with children's behaviors and attitudes. And Sir is...well, He's who He is. They will behave and act appropriately.

Those have been strange conversations though. I've talked about kids in the past with partners. Or lack thereof, as well. When my depression settles too deeply, the idea of having kids is not a pleasant one. And given certain social obligations, I debated if I wanted to give those up for children. But like I told Sir, I was meant to be a mom.

The oddness of the conversations came from the contrast of mono vs poly dating. In prior monogamous relationships, talk about having kids was very much a "one day for us", part of the expansion of the relationship outlook. A couple of the relationships were serious enough that we talked about possible names. As for poly relationships, the topic of kids has been completely different. It's been more vague and individualized.

Something I've not mentioned, and is often a source of debate within the poly community, is that I plan on having kids with only one partner. I don't even think Sir knows I feel that way. I could list off why I made that choice but it doesn't really matter beyond that it's the one I made. Even if I share my home and my life with more than one male partner (which with the way things are going, I can't see happening anyway), that choice still stands. Poly is not equal, no matter what anyone tries to claim. There's also absolutely nothing wrong with that.

If Sir is the partner I'll one day have kids's a huge if even though He has no intention of letting me go for the foreseeable future...if that is the case, I almost feel bad for Him. Because I'm like most women and I have names I like for children. I've had some of these names for almost a decade now. Good luck changing my mind, lol.


  1. Maybe he won't want to change your mind on names. Maybe he'll like them too!
    I hope you become a mom one day. You "were meant to be a mom." :)

    1. We can hope. Or ya know, someone is just going to end up having to deal with that. If I have to carry and birth the kids, I'm picking out names. End of discussion, haha!!

      Ya know how when you're growing up and you want to be all these awesome things?? Well, I wanted to be a mom. I was the mom or the big sis every single time when playing "house". Even as a young teen I would think to myself, if money wasn't the motivator, why couldn't my career just be a mom? Why do I need a career for myself and the job of mom? It's always seemed too much work and stress.

      I run a local group. It's the one I mention here now and then that Sir is also a part of. I tried put a kibash to it, but they absolutely see me as the group "Mom".

      I can't escape it. :-P