I'm not doing too bad right now. I saw K and R...I think that's the "names" I use for them. The play partners, very good friends, the ones who partially think me their kitten, etc. Whom Sir shares me nicely with. :)
I saw K and R last night. It's always good to spend time with them. They asked about Sir and how we're doing. I mentioned that the depression was kicking my ass again. R understands as she has her own battle with it. She mentioned June would be better for their schedule. I'm thinking Sir and I need to make plans with them soon.
Granted, Sir and I need to figure out our own plans. We both have time this week and we're going to see a movie. Probably Iron Man 3, unless there's something more interesting out which I doubt. He did send me a good night text last night. It was very sweet and appreciated. We also were talking about ways to manage depression earlier in the day.
I segregate everything in my head. The intent was to deal with everything individually as well as function a little better. It's not the best solution, not by any means because even individualized, trying to deal with the pain is overwhelming. I used to repress things and silly me went looking for answers several years ago. The answers didn't help. I'd argue they made things worse.
This blog and my other writings are an outlet to manage the depression. I can sort out an issue or siphon off a bit of the pain/fear/panic. I keep myself busy and do what I can to get through each day. Sometimes it's enough. Others, not so much.
On an unrelated note, I kind of want a play thing. A male sub that I can poke, beat, and just do all sorts of horribly lovely things to. This urge appears now and then. I'd have to ask Sir about it. I barely get time with Him; I'm not about to give any of that up for a play thing. Or ya know, if we found a female sub we could both torment...
It's a little ironic given that I want to delve deeper into submission with Sir, and yet I want a play thing as well. A nasty little slut, at that. It's likely to happen at some point or another. Probably more once Sir and I figure out what the heck we're doing. Because that is priority number one for me. While I want to indulge in a bit of sadistic fun, I won't do it at the expense of my relationship with Him.
Though there is something to be said about having a sub boy/slave chained up in one's basement waiting to be of service. Maybe there's a bit more of a Domme in me than I'd like to admit, hehe.