Frustrations

In my last post, I mentioned how He's going to Indiana in October. Earlier this afternoon He told me the dates for when He'll be gone. If you had already guessed, like myself, that He'd be gone for my birthday--you get a cookie. I'm still not angry. Even though I truly expected this outcome, the intensity of the initial stab of pain was surprising. But I'll get over it. We'll still celebrate both of our birthdays, even if not on the actual days.

I have a hate/please-just-go-away relationship with my birthday. It has a habit of being a terrible reminder of how lonely I am. I consider those average birthdays. The bad ones have consisted of funerals, being robbed, and being evicted from my apartment. That Sir is going to be a few states away is setting this birthday to still be above par compared to prior birthdays. Which as depressing as all of that sounds, my best birthday in many years was last year. Sir played a large role in that. I know He'll do something sweet to make up for the fact that He won't be there on the actual day.

"Begin Murderous Rampage Now" Yes please!! LOL

Honestly, I did vent my frustration to the best friend. That's what best friends do, lol. She offered to do something with me on the actual day of my birthday. But see, I actually do have something going on that day. Two of my friends are getting married to each other. I hadn't mentioned it to Sir yet, as it was still far off, but I had hoped to bring Him with me. So much for that, heh.

I likely will take the best friend up on her offer though, but for the following day. She already knew that Sir wasn't going to be around for His own birthday. Her husband travels for work on a regular basis so she can completely relate. We were talking about how I have a technical four day window to celebrate His birthday with Him, with the reality being two days.

Oh yeah, surprise! When I go to visit the BF in our home state, we end up at the shore with several friends, as I'm only able to see these people a few times a year. The sole week all summer that worked for everyone was June 15th to the 22nd. So He'll be gone for a week and a half only for me to leave as soon as He gets back.   *sigh*  

It's just a whole bunch of frustration that life is getting in the way. Nothing is inherently bad; it's all a matter of timing. Most of which (or possibly all) can't really be helped. I needed to vent because I was really nice to Sir. I was not about to start a fight or an argument. There was no point. And I'm truly not angry. These are simply situations where I'm not going to win and I have to accept that.

So now, I'm going to grab more coffee and write. My main character needed to be frustrated anyway so I can better get into her head. That's what optimism looks like, right??