Tuesday, May 7, 2013

A Story Of The Past

The following is a story
from what seems like a lifetime ago.

There once was a handsome young man with big ideas and a bigger heart. Through common friends he met a young woman unlike any other. For months their friendship grew. Then one day, everything changed. Their eyes locked and hands that always kept a respectable distance met. From that moment, she knew and he knew the truth; they had fallen for each other.

Yet it was still months later when they could deny themselves no longer. They fell in love hard and fast. He adored her, with her wild nature and "do as I will" attitude. She saw his innocence and was given hope that the world wasn't as bad as she always assumed.

He found the strength to be all that was possible. She found the path to living in peace and happiness. For the next year, they found absolute joy together. They gave each other all that they had. He opened her mind to kink and BDSM, and she walked eagerly down that path with him. Together they explored all that flesh had to offer, with many thrills along the way. It was a power exchange based on and fueled by mutual love and devotion.

Their families met and became involved with one another. He brought her to Christmas dinner. His younger sister adored her, was the happiest for them. They talked about the future and their own family one day. Four or five children running amok. The first boy would share his name. The first girl would be named after her mother. They made plans for years into the future.

It was spring time when she noticed the difference in him. He was distant, reserved, less involved in their relationship. As spring turned to summer, the distance was vast. She barely saw him anymore; she no longer felt like his priority. Still she loved him with all her heart. She believed they would always find their way together.

Until July when he dropped a bombshell on her. He was intrigued by someone else, an old friend where the friendship was rekindled. He thought they should "take a break". Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Except he had been distant, didn't he see that? She loved him all the same, was devoted to him and their relationship. Wounded, she hurt him back without thinking about the consequences. That if he was done, they should simply end it completely. He cried out that this path wasn't what he wanted, but she no longer believed him.

They didn't talk for a month until they ran into each other one day. For the next few weeks, they had long conversations about themselves and the relationship they left unfinished. She pretended she had moved on and he did the same. He met a woman, a common friend. They were good together, and the common friend was kind to her continuing heart ache. The love was still so clear, so obvious on both sides.

The next summer, they met for lunch one day and to see a movie. Instead, they talked for hours. Neither had found happiness elsewhere. He still loved and wanted her. She would have given him everything. Yet they weren't the same people anymore. The sudden loss of love and joy had warped them both. And so, they remained only friends.

Until he grew distant once more, and broke her heart completely when he permanently walked out of her life. It shattered the last of her hope, the last of her dreams. She no longer wanted to be in love, for what she knew and clung to no longer existed. She couldn't try again, only to be hurt. So she wrapped herself up in her pain and hid from the world.

For years, her lovers never knew her. She had built too many walls, constructed too many masks. She spent too many years in doomed relationships, stumbling from one to the next. Terrible relationships that nearly destroyed her in different ways. Not caring about the path she walked. That was until she finally got over him. She realized that his withdraw wasn't her fault. She was only hurting herself by denying another chance at honest and real love. It took another year for her to resemble the person she used to be.

Suddenly she looked around at her life. She had great friends, a loyal boyfriend, a not-so-right Dom that needed to be dealt with, and there was this new man. One who caught her interest from the first day. She faced a crossroad. Would she retreat yet again, or would she chance getting hurt by seeing where these feelings would lead? Could she be honest and keep no secrets?

Even though she told herself that she shouldn't, the man overshadowed the relationships in her life. Those honest feelings reemerged. She fought it, struggling against what felt too right. In time she stopped resisting and let things occur as they would. She let herself fall in love and be loved in return. Once more, she knew happiness and joy.

This is a story without a true ending
because we're in the middle of it.
The continuation is every entry of this blog.


  1. "Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad. It's the middle that counts the most..."
    Great story. You said it best when you said, "She let herself fall in love and be loved in return. Once more, she knew happiness and joy."

  2. Oh JAS .. that was lovely. You touched me. I too know what it is like to hide yourself away, create walls, and do so many things that can only be seen as self destructive.

    I have made it my mission to NOT be afraid of being hurt again. For if you let yourself be open to the possibilities of being hurt then you are also allowing yourself to be open to the possiblities of something truly wonderful as well.

    I agree with Sarah ... "and be loved in return" .. I think that says it all.

    Happy for you!!!