Monday, September 10, 2012


I've spent the weekend resigning myself to the fact that we both have feelings for one another, but they're not doing us any good. So I stuffed those feelings into boxes. I hope it'll hold, though it never has before.

Part of why I express that I'm poly by nature is so I don't have to do this very thing. I know it's bound to happen sooner or later.

The problem with boxing up feelings is they tie back to feelings about others. So I'm sad and it's creeping into my other relationships.

It can only be a temporary solution, I'm aware. I'm also seeing him this evening at a local event. I'll be surprised if my system lasts the night.

Part of the problem is that I enjoy the feelings I have for him. They're warm and happy.

They also drive me insane because I can't do a damn thing with them. That leads to frustration and heart ache.

I don't see a real good solution to all of this. I'm hoping these feelings will dissipate with time, if not fizzle out all together.

Except I know that's not really how I want to feel...

I'm pretty well fucked.

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