Saturday, March 16, 2013

No sugar for my coffee...

Being the sole morning person in the house I'm staying at, it falls to me to get coffee and other such things around. It is then that I notice there is no sugar. None, in any form, in this house. Having been to the store yesterday to stock up the place, I feel somewhat responsible to have forgotten sugar. I did however remember the very nice Italian sweet cream creamer so hopefully that'll make up for it. Considering I left quite a few other things back in my house, several hours away, this is just but one of the many things that I've been smacking my head about.

Apparently morning people are a rare breed. I don't mean those who get up early every day because they always have. I mean those who are wide awake and ready to go within a few minutes of waking up. That's me, all the time. I could wake up at 5-6 AM every day and be this way. In fact, for many years of my life, I did just that.

So as I wait for people to wake, and others to arrive, I thought I'd update here while I have to ability to do such.

As for last night's post, context...several conversations were had. Many which had been a long time coming. The BF still surprises me. Given I've known him for many years now, it's funny that he still has the ability to catch me completely off guard.

I think he's been reading up on polyamory and those types of relationships. Because he sounded fully prepared for the days when it'll be hard, painful, and trying. There's no illusion there. Granted, he has been here forever. This may just be a by-product of having gone through this before.

One thing he said made me chuckle a bit. Something to the affect of: "We'll both find a way to make you happy. If he (meaning Sir) is as smart as you say he is, this is something he already knows."

I told Sir that the BF and I often struggle with communicating. It's from a time long ago when I wasn't nearly so open or willing to be vulnerable. Given the last few days worth of conversations, I'm going to say that's changed.

As for Sir and I, we're sure to be having conversations at length when I get home. The game strategy has changed and we need to figure out what all that means.

The BF called me a "collector" of people. That's not an inaccurate description. I have them and the few others I've mentioned here. Sir is the closest, the BF about a half step behind. The others are a hand's length away, but with an upright palm welcoming them closer briefly when possible.

Sir thinks I've just been winging this. Heh, not at all. I have a very clear understanding of who I want where in my life. In fact, I've been emotionally setting things up to go that way for about as long as Sir has been around. It's just a matter of people being willing to go forward with how the pieces are set.

And that I will never hide who I am, nor those in my life. Perhaps a topic for another time but something to think about. Being poly is more than accepting the partner(s) of your significant other(s). There are social and economic responsibilities that come into play as well. Are you "out" and if so, to whom? What if not everyone wants or can be out about their lives? Do one or more of these relationships have the intent of being long term? Finances, vacations, children, houses. These are the realities of life and poly makes it ten times more complicated.

If it seems I am going with the flow in regards to the future, it means I do a very good job keeping some thoughts to myself. I'm well aware of conversations that will have to happen as well as decisions that will be made.

I came into this blog with more than one working relationship. That has not changed. Nor is this the first time I've had these rounds of conversations with partners, though I'd argue that these two have the potential to be the most serious. Sir has the outlook of not wanting to let me go and the BF is ready to do what he can to make this work. Sounds quite serious to me and I am all too well aware that I'm not allowed to screw things up in the mean time.

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