Last night, I went for a different tactic as I laid in bed unable to sleep. This is unusual for me; I sleep like a rock most nights. Though last night may have had to with changing the clocks. Always hate that crap every year.
I laid in bed repeating in my mind all the reasons for why I should trust Him to stay and trust His continued interest. There's a long list, one I was able to hold on tight to again.
Not to mention that He thought my long text where I poured my heart out was "very sweet".
Over the weekend, it was made a little clear that I need my leash reigned in a bit. Maybe that's part of why I was in a bad head space. When I start antagonizing Doms who can normally still me with a look, and a spanking doesn't get me back into a submissive mood, there's definitely a problem there...
I mentioned my musings earlier this morning to Sir. Unfortunately, I'm going to be out of town and basically unavailable for a while. Or else I'd be getting a nice, lovely scene. Though, I'm sure we can think of something to bring us together a bit more.
Heh, when I told Him about the fun over the weekend (which He seemed sad to have missed. I need to get Him out to these things more.), He commented that my behavior wasn't dominant but assertive. That's what I thought...our friends think otherwise. And this is why Sir wins, lol. No dominant part of this sub!!
Found out I have a bratty side, which is how I brought up the part where I think I need a bit more control. Or just a good reminder that I'm an obedient submissive. I was with R and K over the weekend. Normally K can grab me by the throat and I'm nearly in subspace. Not the case this time. I was playfully teasing K, saying that I didn't have to obey him. That he couldn't make me do anything. (I know, I know...I'm so going to pay for that at a later time...)
K got real close and threatened, "No, but I know who can." Yeah...that would be Sir. He pulled a trump card, damn it! Even that night, I got wide eyed. Because well, other Doms are just fun people to play with.
Sir? Oh no. I obey Sir. There is no question there. I'm sweet, compliant, submissive. There is no challenging Him because I know better. LOL!
One well placed look, a handful of hair = weak kneed, open exposed subbie.
Which is frankly what I might need at the moment. A reassertion of dominance that good girls don't behave such ways, unless told otherwise. Even I realize it was a craving to be put in my place that brought on the Brat. Granted, fun was had by all. It's a playful brat.
So that's where I'm at: Needing my Sir.
His loving care, dominance, possession.
Pretty sure the "little voice" would quiet down too, as it's hard to argue when pulled in close and reminded of exactly who owns me. :-)