Thoughts Amidst the Preparations

My head is spinning.

I've spent the last day and a half preparing for Him to come over. Tomorrow's breakfast is baking in the oven. A phyllo dough-asparagus-egg-cheese loveliness. Or I hope it will be as I've never made it before. There's always eggs, bacon, and homefries if it doesn't work out. Dinner is going to be something spectacular. Rib eye, a squash dish, and roasted taters.

But we all know He's not coming over to have a candlelit dinner with me. No, my home is being cleaned and prepped for Him to do terrible, unspeakable things. And I'm left with this feeling of: "Omg, am I really going to do this???"

The answer is definitely a YES! But it's becoming all the more real with every passing hour.

The kitchen is the only room left looking like a mini-disaster. It's in the stages of clean-up. One of those "clean as I go" situations as I have to prep and cook dinner still. Besides that, I need to get myself ready. A nice bath to relax and shave. A quick shower after for practical cleansing.

I have to time dinner so it's ready by 7 so it can stay warm in the oven. After that, it's a rope tie of parts of me, make sure everything else is in place. Then the true waiting will begin.

It is lunch time. I should eat something somewhat hardy as who knows when I'll be eating tonight. Probably after I've been fucked a few times, heh.

I'm doing mental checklists as well as consulting my written list. I have some minor things to do left, like make sure all the toys are clean and in an accessible place. Put new batteries in the vibrators. Little things that I can't forget about.

Heh, I'm rambling to distract myself from the fact that I have no way to mentally and emotionally prepare for tonight. I've tried and there's nothing I can do. All I can see is Sir's evil grin. He gave me more than a few before bed last night. All throughout my house there are little signs of what awaits me.

He's going to make me watch, several times over. He even mentioned recording videos as things are happening for me to watch later during the scene.

I know exactly why I'm nervous. Not because of anything He plans on doing. There's healthy nervousness there and that adds to the thrill. No, this internal freaking out is because it won't matter that He's pretending to be a stranger. I will only be able to fight back for so long. Then the inner whore will appear. He'll see firsthand just how big of a slut I truly am.

That is both incredibly hot and frightening.