Last night was...how do I find the words?
I could use hers...that relationships don't need to fit into labels. They don't need to be posted anywhere for them to matter.
We talked about Him. I'm sure she saw the change when I talked about how I am so content with Him.
We talked about her and her man. How I fit into their lives. This is the couple I mentioned here. The latter of the two I mentioned on that page.
There are no labels for what I am to them. Even though they'd like to "claim" me as theirs. I chuckle at that now. I'm honored, truly. I do love them. The three of us click. It's intense and everyone sees it.
I may not be in love with them but that's a matter of semantics. I could also see it evolving into that kind of love. But right now, there's nothing to describe the kind of relationship we have. It's not friends with benefits.
Granted, they have plenty of benefits. I have sore nipples and bite marks with bruises on the one shoulder to prove it.
However, I didn't go looking for that last night. It's just one of those things. If it happens, awesome. If not, I will have a great time with amazing friends.
The level of attention, care, feelings, love, connection...it's way more than just friends who like to fuck. Especially since I'm not having sex with them, lol. Just playing now and then.
So it is with Him. It's why friends with benefits sounds so wrong. Because it's more than that. I have no way to define what I have with Him either.
But it hit me last night, at the party no less. Whatever it is? I am really happy with it. He cares about me. Wants me to be happy, safe, healthy. He wants to cuddle with me as much as I want to with Him.
He's the one saying "some day" to cuddling all night together in bed. Sleeping safe and sound in His arms.
We've been past the lines of friendship for some time. So what that I can't label it??
Stealing her words again...what matters is what happens in real life. The people that are there, no matter what. Their actions, words, feelings.
I have three amazing, local friends who are frankly more than friends. One who I'm frankly madly in love with and I will not hold back admitting that.
*whispers* He needs to hear more often that He is loved for exactly who He is. I love Him and He just needs to get used to someone loving Him again.
I am blessed. Just took me some time to realize that.
This realization changes nothing, honestly. At least nothing externally, but if I'm lucky *crossing fingers* it'll do me a lot of good.
Hmmm, I wonder if I should offer Him my other shoulder to bite/bruise tomorrow? I'm feeling a bit unbalanced, hee hee. Don't know if He'll read this in time. May have to be all sweet and ask nicely.
Which the timing is funny because we're going to His church tomorrow. I should feel bad about asking Him to bite me on a church day...but I don't. It's up to Him. Just leaving the offer out there...