Friday, November 2, 2012

Where My Heart Is

I'm working on two other posts at the moment. An erotica piece and ironically one about finding a place for vanilla in my life. The latter being more difficult as I have no idea what I want in that regard. I only know something is missing.

I have this tendency to attract couples, for whatever reason. Maybe because I fit that elusive "unicorn" model. There are two couples who have made their interests known on one level or another. I'm very good friends with both. One I've known for over a year now.

It would surprise me if my life ended up with them, and yet in the same breath, it wouldn't. There's security there that I've not seen elsewhere. I would slide so easily into their dynamic. But my heart's just not in it.

The other couple, they're pretty new. Around the time He came into my life, so did they. There's interest, but I'm not yet sure of the level. I'm a very touchy person to be around and it's not unusual to find me in either of their arms at some point in an evening. Lately, I've just noticed something under the surface to their tone and words.

Though as we've seen with Him, I am terrible at reading people. So I could be totally wrong about the second couple. They've also seen my interest in Him. I've only acknowledged it, not discussed the details. I'm sure it's only a matter of time with how easily I open up to them.

The truth is? My heart's not really there either.

"Between the lines"  Sara Bareilles

The rest doesn't really need to be said, does it?

Love has a will of its own.

Love is putting a smile on your face when all you want to do is go to pieces.

Love is keeping your silence when you want to scream from the rooftops.

Love is right, even when it's wrong.

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