Wednesday Night's Convo

The conversation the other night was quite long. Probably lasted at least 6 hours, with a few breaks.

It started with the normal conversation about each other's days. Moved to honesty, disclosure, polyamory and monogamy, my childhood, and my relationship with the boyfriend.

The stuff y'all want to hear about didn't happen until around 11 PM.

We transitioned via talking about the bf (more on that at another time) to us. That sets the tone for the following text:

"I am willing to put a man who I'm not even with before my relationship with him..."  (meaning Him over the bf)

"That's, ah, a bit of an obstacle, yeah. Heh, I don't really have words right now."

"I'm sorry..."


"It's not something to be sorry for. It is what it is. And yes, I do see it. And it shames me that I hesitate and wonder."

"*hugs*  I don't want it to shame you..."

"You have such a strength of conviction and of feeling."

"Remember when...in my kitchen that one evening...we talked about us, and my feelings for you. I said it was different, with you. I was clear headed. You said it couldn't be love, if i'm always irrational and love-blind at first...I've been thinking about that...maybe I'm actually approaching this in a healthy way for the first time in years. Taking the time to make sure it's right....It's been since July and I'm only more convinced by the day. I continue to force myself to be honest with you, even when I don't want to be....hell, I'm willing to be monogamous. I would not give or do that for just anyone. Do not take that lightly. Because I don't."


"I don't take it lightly at all. 

It's yet another part of why I hesitate and am slow, why I hold back and don't rush headlong into whatever this is. If I am to accept this, I want it to be for the right reasons, with the right motives, and with the right thoughts. I don't want you because you offer yourself, I want it to be because I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is what I want and that it is right. It would be a great disservice to walk into your life, sweep you off your feet, and carry you off only to find out that it's not real both ways, that this great gift you offer isn't reciprocated. You've had too many men who have done that and I won't add my name to that list. 

I could never forgive myself if I disrespected you or your love."

His last section of text is what took me by surprise. It also cemented that He's definitely worth waiting for, and He's one of the best men I've ever known. He wants to be sure and I have to love Him even more for that.

Then it became a little more explicit, lol...

You have charms it is hard to resist. were you here right now... I would probably not be very conflicted. not only would I snuggle the crap out of you, but you might wake the neighbors, lol.

He went on about His rope He'd found and all the lovely positions He wants to put me in on the 9th. Apparently being hogtied is on that list!!!

Also blow jobs where I'll be holding my breath (read: not being allowed to breathe) because He wants to see if varying positions help with the angles.

This was our Wednesday evening...y'all can see what happened Thursday. I have so much more to tell you. I'll be out of town this weekend but if I can manage, I'll have two posts scheduled. If nothing else, expect to see a post with some reactions from the last few days.

I'm a little stunned and in a happy place, for a number of reasons...not withstanding 9 orgasms yesterday...yeah, He watched me last night on cam as He ripped 5 more out of me. I am sore from moving muscles I haven't in awhile.

I am really, really happy. ^_^