The poem I wrote...It's been sitting in me along with a number of other thoughts. I realize how blah, worrying, vulnerable, etc I've been lately. It's not fun.
The poem isn't actually as bad or sad as it seemed. I've given up trying to fight this. Trying to define, move, alter, progress it. I gave up fighting the love I feel because it's been turning me into a not fun person to be around. Even I didn't want to be around me.
So, I will take a chance...on hope and on love.
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
I'm rereading our conversations from the beginning. We had so much more fun together then.
I changed and it changed His reactions. I've been so wrapped up in the details I missed the bigger picture. I was missing the fun of discovery.
There are ways to handle emotional insecurity and pain. I wasn't doing that. He's been good to me, all things considered.
I will work on me. Work on just letting things happen as they will. Heh, I read His words even from the beginning. The man is interested in me. We talk daily. He lets me rant about stupid shit in my head.
I have absolutely no reason to be worried. So He isn't in love with me. It would make no difference right now even if He was. Likely would make things more difficult.
I am going to work on being that adorable, snuggly, confident woman that He initially was drawn to. Because that's a way better part of me than I've been showing lately.