Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Getting to a Better Place

So I reread the posts I've written here...

How did I forget this post? And this oneThis one too!!

Also nearly every conversation we've had.

Where the fuck has my head space been lately?? Because it sure as hell hasn't been grounded, at all. Did I over-analyze? I think I just up and lost my mind.

That man is too good for me. I think He knew I'd get it eventually.

The last two weeks have been screwed up, majorly. Maybe head trauma mixed with too many chaotic emotions. I really don't know.

But fuck, I was a bitch. Bratty. Spoiled. Distasteful.

Granted, I think getting all of that out in the open helped get me back on track. But damn was it messy along the way.

I fully apologized and He forgave me...because that's the kind of person He is. I think He realized I had to work some things out...if my last few posts didn't make that glaringly obvious.

I have a tendency to become so narrowly focused that I ignore everything else going on around me.

Beyond what's been going on here, the past few weeks have been emotionally taxing and draining...separately in both our lives. It's just added to a lot of the tension and pressure.

I hope from this point forward I can keep my shit together...remember the bigger picture. Be happy for what I do have.

Despite the chaos of the last few days especially...I've not lost sight of the fact that I am so blessed that He and I met. I cherish our friendship and the connection we've shared since day one. My life has had a lot more laughter and fun. I'd do well to remember that. Even more so remember how damn awesome this man is with all the support He's given me in the short time we've known each other.

So yeah, I'm in a better place. I think it'll lead to the two of us being in a better place as well. I've been extremely happy today. Lighter. Free. It's a good feeling. :)

1 comment:

  1. i'm so sorry i'm late to this post... but as you know, i haven't been in the right head space either.

    glad you've found your "lighter, free" zone now. it's much better than that OTHER place innit?