I know what happened last night isn't my fault, but I feel partially responsible.
If I hadn't come over...
If it had been a different day...
If I had been more aware and conscious of surroundings...
*sighs*
I hope He's doing a bit better today. He seemed to be doing better a few hours after I left. We'd been texting. I was trying to offer the same support He's given me 1,000 times. I hope it was good enough.
It had been such a good day too. Vanilla(ish...because a blow job in the kitchen isn't really vanilla, lol). We'd been making soup. Watching Thor and Iron Man 2. Yep, He's slowly showing me the movies that lead up to the Avengers. Don't worry, I ask Him to. :-P
I did get lots of snuggles and cuddles. I enjoy being wrapped up in His arms. It's a very safe place to be.
No real kink, which He did warn me that there might not be. Which was fine.
The power exchange has gotten put on the back burner for now. Neither of us are in the right head space for it.
I'm sure it won't be too long...but there's no pressure either. I want Him to be okay again.
I have a few ghosts from the past to shake off myself.
Heh, on a happier note to end this...we were sitting on the couch, cuddled close. He offhandedly mentioned that He reads this every day.
*waves at Him* Hi! ^_^
LOL i love the wave at the end.
ReplyDeleteyou know, somedays I forget that there's kink. Unless there's an obvious bondage / instruction / preparation scene in the bedroom, all the other stuff just seems to be part of our day.
It's a way of being. I bring him food and drink, I wipe the table after he's done, I take his cup to the sink.
I realise tho, that these things I do aren't rules or duties I have to follow. these things are natural. I would do them for any partner. I have, in fact.
Jus that THIS one recognises that my service is a symbol that I defer to him, that I submit to him in any way he wishes, when he wishes, should he wish it.
and sometimes, that's enough. we exist like a regular couple, perhaps with a little more pronounced "certainty" and "calling the shots" attitude on his part, and a gentler, acquiescing approach on mine. Something that i think is more and more lacking in modern relationships.
Our relationship...whatever you want to call it...is still solid. If anything, these things have a way of bringing us closer.
DeleteI'm still me and He's still Him. The D/s undertones are always there, like you said, because that's part of who we are.
He told me as I was leaving on Sunday that He was in no position to have power over anyone. I'm sure in a few days, we'll be back up and rolling.
As I write this, He's teasing me with ideas of rope, floggers, play needing gags, and quite possibly having a whole weekend together.
So really, only a matter of time before my orgasms are His again...though it's not like I'm having orgasms without Him anyway, lol.