Saturday, January 5, 2013

What is Love

I'm a tad under the weather this may not be my most coherent post.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about people's dramas and inability to recognize very obvious warning signs.

Some of them have resolved a few issues over the last few days. I basically want people to keep the peace. If they can manage that, then we're all good.

I got a text from an ex (the one I broke up with in Sept)...he wants to talk to me about his new sub. He doesn't even need to say it. I just know. Probably had sex, if his status on fetlife is anything to go by. The new girl doesn't like me, so I'd rather stay as far away from that mess as possible.

I was texting Sir when I mentioned the message I received. He knows all the recent happenings have been taking a toll on my emotional health. I told Him I can't keep doing it. I'm wearing myself out trying to fix other people.

His suggestion was to focus on the important things and let the rest go. I plan on doing such with a select group of people who appreciate the concern and love.

And He is someone I will be keeping close. As if there was any doubt, heh. He is my Sir and my love.

Speaking of love, I was thinking about actions versus words. I think it affected my dreams last night. In dream, Sir was there and told me "Love you too."

Something He's not said to me. Which is fine...if He says it, it'll be on His own terms.

I mentioned this to Him while we were texting. He wondered if it were unspoken desires. We talked long about it.

Truth is I was ready to write a post about this for today anyway. No, He's not said the words...but many men have. With lust in their eyes and hunger in their hearts.

He shows it, every day. In His actions and understanding. In how He comforts and protects me.

It's all we do for each other. That's love. The words are but confirmation of what is blatantly obvious.

The words are nice, comforting. But they don't hold a candle to the importance and benefit of actions.


  1. Ah i hear u. And actions are great, if that's your love language.

    Mine is affirmation (thru words) so thats how i express my affection and receive confirmation of how someone else is feeling. Which is something BIKSS is learning to do better, but im also learning to translate the things he does into "words" in my head sort of a translation, if u will.

    1. I understand what you mean. And it's hard learning to read people. It can be difficult, especially at first. Trying to put emotions behind actions...sounds like a near impossible task.

      I still stumble and misread Him though it doesn't seem so bad as of late.

      The words will one day be necessary, but for now they're not. I know He's not ready to say them. I knew a few months back, He wasn't even prepared to even think those words.

      The word "love" will be necessary once He's ready to say it. It's hard to explain but I know it to be true. We're not there yet, and that's okay.

      I will wait patiently for Him because that's what He needs. It's what He's always needed of me.