Thursday, January 31, 2013

Good Girl

"Good girl" is a phrase I'm assuming we're all familiar with. I want to unravel the significance and personal importance those words have. Please indulge my attempts to sort through the thoughts my mind is circling around.

In the context of BDSM, "good girl" has no inherent correlation to "Littles." The leap to that conclusion is an obvious one, even if it is a false assumption. For those unfamiliar with Daddy/Mommy and little relationships, I found this article to be a good emotional and honest explanation.

The usage of "girl" has no significance to one's age, in any regard. Instead it is an idea that fans the flame of Dominance and submission. One that exposes the submissive behavior under a bright spot light while simultaneously praising it.

For some, "good girl" brings on a rush on endorphins and an emotional high. The surge that courses through a sub's mind and body, like water cleansing and renewing.

It is an acknowledging of a task completed, but furthermore, one which has been performed well. It is earned, often with great struggle. When one pushes past the social conditioning and internal debates to give oneself over to the will of another, in those moments one earns that "good girl" praise from the lips of the Dom.

"Good girl" helps cement the D/s relationship. It builds trust and appreciation. Subs flounder when uncertain, confused, unsure, lost, etc. Their job is to be pleasing, submit, serve. When doubts creep in, and there is no confirmation that they are just as the Dom wishes them to be, "good girl" can be one of many forms to bridge that gap.

For those Doms that can find the balance between over-abundance and sparsity, they will find themselves happier as well. For when their subs are confident and content in submission, life is better for all involved.

As for where I stand with the phrase "good girl", it tightens the chains of Dominance. It liberates my submission. Sir often marvels at how deep I travel down into subspace. Yet even though He's convinced a slave is hiding just beneath my surface, I still struggle from time to time.

The phrase is like many triggers I have to snap my head space into compliant submission. I would argue it's one of the most powerful, at least for me. For though it helps bring me back to where I'm needed, it is a balm to doubts and hesitation. It is warmth to the cold depths of fear.

When I'm told I'm a "good girl" the burden is removed. I can relax and be at peace. If there is freedom in submission, "good girl" is one key that opens the lock to where I hide away.


  1. Well written. I love the last line :)

  2. great post, agree with everything. "good girl" was once considered demeaning to me. Now it is so important to who I am.

  3. This is brilliant, JAS! The phrase good girl floods me with pleasure, and produces an almost tangible bending under his hand. When I hear good girl, I can go that extra step, take just a little more. I loved the last line! As well as the last line of Blondie's comment.

    Good reference on littles as well. Ward and I are D/lg, but it has nothing to do with ageplay. It is very much as the article stated, a freedom to express my deepest emotions, to express wonder and be cherished for them.


  4. Thanks for the comments. Glad y'all enjoyed the post. :)

  5. wow this sums up exactly what that phrase means to me, I had no idea it was common in others :)